Love Pink [Chapter 7]

SURPRISE!!!!!! Did you miss us!?!? I know, I know it's been a while...and I know you're all pretty pissed; seeing as how I've been saying I was gonna post for some time now. But you know I'm good for it! And you know we always make it worth your while. The chapter is long & sexy. Hmmm...funny how that worked out. Seeing as how that's kind of how I would describe Drak-...nevermind. Anyway, I hope you guys like it. And you all better be full after this because this is a BIG chapter. No pun intended. Hope I didn't let you down, guys! Leave lots of comments! Ok, OK, I'm going! Bon apetit! XO

“Why do you keep asking me over & over again?”

“I’m just trying to make sure you’re serious! This is a big step.”

She looked at me, eyes wide.

“Nicki, I said I’m ready. What more do I have to do to show you?” I said to her.

She let her jaw go slack as she leaned back further.

“I’m going to go use the bathroom. You think about this some more.”

She slid from under the sheets & left the room.

I walked around the bed to the side Nicki had just vacated & attempted to climb in. That is, until Drake marched up to me, arms folded over his chest.

“That was a low blow; telling Nicki you’re ready when you’re clearly not.” He spat.

Oh he was pissed.

“Yeah it was a low bow for you to come in here & try to sleep with her, but you don’t see me complaining.” 

“Well you told me to leave.” He said snidely.

I cut my eyes at him before rolling them. I’m not in the mood for him tonight. I reached around him, grabbing the sheet & pulling it back.

“Good night, Aubrey.” I sighed.

“Hold on!” he said, pulling the fabric back to the top of the bed. “After all of this, I think I deserve to know what the next step is.”

“What?”

I looked at him quizzically.

“What’s your next move? What are you going to do now? Are you doing this psych me out? What? What’s the plan?”

I pulled back the covers once again before saying.

“There is no plan.”

And again. He pulled them back up.

“Aren’t you going to take my advice?”

“Nope.” I say, climbing into bed, no longer caring for the sheet.

It’s late. I want to get comfortable.

But, he pulled me back up.

“Maria listen, I know you don’t trust me, and if you want to keep your game plan to yourself, fine. But please take my advice. Nicki deserves for us to give this our best shot. Don’t ruin it just because you’re mad at me. If you would just listen to me, you could finally have the upper hand in this thing.”

Alright, now I’m getting in his face (well…kind of…I’m only 5’2”) because I’m angry.  

Look, I’m not mad at you for what you did, even though it was really shitty of you to do. I’m only pissed because you keep trying to tell me what to do! And I’m not talking your advice because I don’t need it. I’m not worried about having the upper hand because I’m done playing the game.”

Finally, he stepped back               (thank you!) & looked at me. I hurried up & snatched the sheet back, climbing into bed.

Uh….is he ok? Why is he looking at me like this?

“I…I don’t know what you mean. Not playing the game? You’re just giving up?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Well what about Nicki? You’re just going to leave her?”

“No I’m not going to leave her!” I spat.

“Then help me understand! What are you doing?”

“I DON’T KNOW, OK?! I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going with this. This whole thing makes me feel like I’m spiraling out of control. But I’m falling for you and I can’t help it, so I’m just going to let it happen.”

“What?” he stammered, his eyes wide.

I ran my hands through my hair nervously.

“I’m falling for you, ok? Like really falling for you. And I know it’s like…super quick and you probably think I’m lying, but I’m really starting to like you. I-I don’t even know how it happened. But ever since that first time I saw you when you walked into that room I…I could just feel it. I could feel it happening then. And I tried to push it away, but I can’t. And I know I shouldn’t have been listening but I really think Nicki had the right idea about this whole thing. I’ve been hurt so many times…why shouldn’t I allow myself to get twice as much love in return? It’s like the universe is finally compensating us for all the times we’ve left our hearts out in the open and given our all for love. And I don’t know about you, Aubrey, but I’m willing to take it. If this works, I’ll have more than I’ve ever dreamed. I mean…what do I really have to lose?”

“No…” he said, shaking his head. “This is not how this is supposed to work. You’re going to ruin everything!”

“What do you mean!?”

He paced the floor a few times before plopping down in the bed in front of me.

“You think this is easy for me? You think I don’t have feelings for you too?”

Yeah, I stopped breathing.

“………What?”

He got up & started pacing again.

Wait, did he just say he had feelings for me?

“Since the first day I met you, you had this…this spell on me. I…I really like you.”

“Ok, so what’s the problem?”

“That is the problem! I like you. A-and I think you’re sweet…and funny. God, I almost had sex with you in the bathroom! And my girlfriend, she…she was right down the hall! And you’re sitting with me in this room and…I really want you.”

His voice is so frantic. But I don’t get it. Why is he acting like this?

“Again, what is the problem? This is what Nicki wants! Unless you’re starting to feel more for me th-“

“God no! I could never love you more than I love her.” He scoffed.

Geeze. Not harsh at all.

“But I’m not supposed to like you at all, let alone fall in lo-“

He started pacing again.

“Nicki doesn’t always think things through. How could this even work? Where would we live? And you can forget about marriage. What would our mothers think? What would the public think? What would this mean for our careers? And what about ch-…”

He sighed heavy, his lids closing briefly.

“I was open with you. I told you what I wanted with her. How can we ever get back what we lost with you in the middle?”

He sat at the edge of the bed, the heels of his hands digging into his sockets. It was sad to see him so torn up about this. I crawled down to the edge of the bed, wrapping him in my arms.

“I know this whole thing is crazy. And even though you won’t say it, I know you’re scared. But it’s gonna be ok. The least we can do is try. If it doesn’t work out, hey, at least we did it. But don’t stop a good thing from happening. Just enjoy it. We can worry about all that other stuff later.”

He put his hands down & looked at me.

“I want to enjoy this. How could I not? I just don’t want this to end and you take a piece of my heart in the process.”

The look in his eyes seemed sincere. I really want to believe him. Especially now that I’ve made the decision to give this my all. But could he still be playing me though? Why was it so hard to tell with him? Maybe it was because he wanted me to quit one minute & wanted me to win the next. Maybe it was just the proximity of his lips that was making my head feel fuzzy. He moving closer & closer every second. Or was it me that was moving? I can’t even tell. I don’t really care either. I just knew I wanted to close that space so badly. But I didn’t know if I should.

Well I didn’t have to make a decision anyway, because Nicki walked in, scaring us both to death.

“Oh, don’t let me interrupt!” she said with a smile.

I put my head down, pulling away as I tucked a loose strand behind my right ear.

“I heard you talking & I didn’t want to intrude. I know it’s hard for you guys to say what you really feel when I’m around. So I just went & got a snack.”

She shook the nearly empty container of mangos she was holding.

Neither of us moved, causing her to frown.

“Everything ok?”

“Everything’s fine” I told her, smiling.

She stroked Drake’s cheek softly.

“You ok, love?”

He looked up at her, half smiling.

“Just fine.”

“What? NO! Can you ju-…Safaree…I’m not coming back any time soon. NO I’m not turning around, I’m half way across the world! Just…just tell them I’m out of the country.”

Nicki continued to groan as she tried to tell Safaree how to do his job. At east she was doing something. Drake had been pouring himself drinks nonstop since we boarded the flight. He was balancing it with a good meal though. Nice, grilled T-bone steak with roasted garlic potatoes & steamed asparagus. It looked really good. But if the last 2 months were any indication, he wasn’t in the sharing mood.

I wasn’t that hungry anyway.

I sat in my soft leather seat, staring out the window as we passed through clouds. My iPod was on a mellow playlist created for the trip to calm my nerves.

Flying always made me anxious.

And I had a lot on my mind. I know on that night 2 months ago I said I was ready for this. But now that we were actually on this flight, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I can’t believe we were actually about to do this. And for six weeks!

Nicki had it all mapped out in her head; answering questions before we even had them. The plan was that we go to somewhere new. A remote location where we could just be ourselves. She chose some place that we had never been & probably never have to go again unless we wanted to, just in case this didn’t work out. Which was pretty smart. I mean, how awkward would it be if you just walked past a hotel like ‘Oh, here’s where I lost the love of my life to some handsome douchebag.’? Yeah, I’d love that.

Of course I’m rolling my eyes right now.

Nicki kept saying she wanted us to see this as a vacation & not so much as a business trip. We were supposed to have a good time, even though the rest of our lives rested on this little rendezvous. I was willing to give it a shot.

Don’t know about Drake though.

After an entire day in the sky, we landed at Nadi International. The sun was so bright, I thought I would go blind as soon as I stepped off the aircraft. Nicki tilted her Balenciaga shades down from the crown of her head, surveying the sight before her. By the look on her face, I could tell she was in love with this place. Lush greenery, beautiful tropical flowers & the entire area was wrapped in a concave of breathtaking mountains.

“Isn’t it beautiful!?”Nicki exclaimed as she linked her arm with mine & dragged me over to where Drake was standing.

“It’s gorgeous, love.” He muttered.

Still a party pooper I see.

About two yards in front of, us a black SUV awaited; a beautiful Malaysian woman waiting by the left passenger side door.

“Bula! Welcome to Viti Levu. Thank you for choosing Fiji as your holiday destination.”

Her voice was rich with culture. A twist of an exotic Indian tongue & laid back ease of a Hawaiian accent.

“A vehicle has been prepared to transport you to your new home away from home.”

She opened the door for us as we piled into the back seat. Drake first, then Nicki, finally me.  The woman was close enough to catch the scent of her perfume. Light & fruity. Beautiful. I took it as a good omen.

“Enjoy your stay.” She said sweetly before closing the door.

Once our luggage was loaded up (it wasn’t really a lot), we pulled off down a narrow paved road.

“I can’t believe this is really happening!” Nicki whispered as her delicate little fingers wrapped around mine.

The warmth of her hand made my stomach flutter like it had sprouted wings. She was right; this really was happening. And it was so exciting. Especially since I didn’t know exactly where we were going. But Nicki said she had thought of everything so I’m sure it’ll be lovely.

The buildings were becoming sparse & I could see the glittering Pacific Ocean on the horizon ahead. We were slightly jostled as we made the transition from rode to sand, driving up to a long wooden pier jetting out into the water. I squinted my eyes & shaded them with my hand, trying to get a better look at the large – something – sitting in the water at the end of the strip.

“Is that a boat? Are we going on some type of cruise or something?” I asked.

Nicki shook her head.

“This is our house.”

She must’ve seen how confused I looked because she came right over to me, grabbed my hand & pulled me behind her as she raced down the pier. At the end of it stood a huge Polynesian style villa. The entire thing was suspended over the water. One of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen.

“It’s gorgeous.” I breathed, still in awe of sight.

“Yes, amazing. Can we go inside now?”

GOD, can he get any crabbier?!

Nicki waved him off & grabbed my hand once again, skipping into our temporary home. Through the glass front doors was a minimalist open floor plan. Huge floor to ceiling windows seemed to be on every wall, giving us a view of the water in every way possible. In the very middle of the living space sat a ginormous glass burning fireplace acting as a barrier between that & the kitchen & dining area (she remembered I love them. How thoughtful of her!). On the left of me sat a huge L-shaped sofa, draped in soft nude & aqua fabrics that mimicked the sand & sea’s meeting on the shore. Matching stuffed ottoman in the center & a rather large flat screen in front of it. The place looked perfect for watching movie, really. Completely cozy.

But I don’t know how much of that we would be doing.

On the right of me was the most perfect sitting area. Another comfy sofa faced the wall of windows. You could practically sunbathe in here. This side of the house clearly caught the most light. The view spread deep across the ocean. All the way to the tiny barrier islets that would be flooded at high tide. But I think overall, the most magnificent feature of the room was that it had no floor. Well, it did, but you could see right through the thing. A 12-by-12 foot sheet of glass served as a focal point of the room…and our floor. I looked down at the crystal clear water & caught the last of a school of tropical fish swimming by.

“Come look!” Nicki squeaked.

She pushed the giant windows (which turned out to be huge folding doors. How fucking cool?!) aside, revealing a large deck. The railings were made of thin, tempered glass that seemed to disappear from sight. Perfect for not obstructing the view. I walked over to her (careful as hell) & sighed at the perfection that is the view. The cool, sea salt air on my skin was heavenly.

“Come look with us, love.” She said, fingers outstretched for Aubrey’s.

He sluggishly received her.

“This is all very breathtaking. But I’m more interested in sleep.” He grumbled.

The corners of her mouth slightly fell.

That’s it.

Before she could say anything, she was called away by the help. This was perfect because he was about to get a piece of my mind.

I turned to glare at him.

“Listen, asshole.” I snapped.

“Excuse me?”

I put my hand up, silencing him.

“My turn.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I don’t care how pissed off you are that this is happening. The fact is, it’s happening, so stop being such a dick about it.”

“Why pretend to be happy about something when I’m clearly not? I don’t think it’s fair I had to get dragged into this because you decided to indulge her delusions.”

“I don’t think it’s fair that I’m in this at all. But don’t act like you weren’t playing the game either. And I don’t care how mad you are at me, don’t take it out on her. Somebody needs take their own advice and realize that this isn’t about us.”

That us came out a little more sharp than I intended, but I don’t care. Aubrey was being a jerk.

Out the corner of my eye, I caught Nicki heading our way.

“The luggage is all moved in. I’ll show you to the rooms so we can all get settled & get some sleep.” Her mood had clearly deflated.

I’m going to punch him.

She didn’t say anything, just turned around & walked back inside. Drake & I both looked at each other; he looking a little hurt while I just scowled. I have no sympathy for him.

Back inside, we walked back through the sitting area, past the massive fireplace through the kitchen & dining area. I’m sure it was all very lovely, but I was far too pissed to notice. Beyond the eatery were a set of double doors. Through them & down a long corridor were a set of doors on either side, as well as the end.

“You guys can go in either one. I know you must be tired.” Said Nicki before opening the doors on the right & walked ahead of us. I dragged a reluctant Drake behind me.

The first thing you can’t help but notice is the dazzling fire place on the far wall with windows on either side. The stark white rug was such a contrast to the dark wood floor. It looked like the perfect place to dry off after a long day of swimming. The gigantic bed was draped with the softest looking linen I had ever seen. Which was great because I am so ready to fall face first on a mattress.

Looking to my left, I noticed the bathroom was completely open to the room; a shower sitting in between 2 huge walk-in closets. The entire back wall, again, made of glass.

Jesus, good thing we’re the only ones out here. You can see everything.

I turned back to Nicki, who was undressing in the corner. To my surprise, Drake was doing the same. He looked up & stared at me.

“You sure you’re sleeping in here? With us?” I asked him.

I know he could tell by my tone that the question was only to affirm that I wasn’t leaving. He turned to me slowly, exasperation on his face.

“I just want to sleep. I don’t care where.”

He tossed his shirt to the ground.

“And since I’m already here…”

He removed his pants & climbed into bed.

I kept my eye on him as I undressed. No way was he as angry as he let on. But I don’t want to argue now. I was dog tired.

I climbed into bed, cuddling a pillow under my left arm. Looking out the window, I noticed the sky was changing. Bright gold, now soft amber. The water becoming darker.

The day was almost over. And thank goodness because even with as beautiful this sunlight is, I’d hate to have it shining in my face while I’m sleeping. But that wasn’t a factor for everyone. Nicki was already fast asleep. I could hear her light snoring. I sat up on my elbows to look at her.

Nicki was facing away from us, her tiny body curled into a ball. Poor thing…she was all tuckered out. Drake was between us; arms over his head as he stared at the ceiling.

Shit. Now he knows I’m awake.

I hope he doesn’t want to talk. I rolled back over quickly, but it was too late.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings.” He said solemnly.

“That’s nice, Aubrey.” I sighed back.

I closed my eyes, trying to drown him out.

“…or you.”

My eyes popped back open unexpectedly. I hate that. Hate that he can just dig into my head like that. I like to think that I’m good at hiding my feelings most of the time. But Nicki always tells me I wear my heart on my sleeve. They were always able to reach inside me & pull out my darkest fears, insecurities & regrets.

I know he knew that I was pissed he hurt Nicki. But that twinge of sadness I felt when he acted like he didn’t want to be around either of us was so small. How did he even pick up on it?

I shifted uncomfortably closer to the edge of the bed.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t be taking this out on her. She’s only doing what she feels in her heart. I didn’t mean to punish her for it.”

Well good for you, Aubrey.

“As for you…I’ll be sure to punish you accordingly.”

I could feel the smile in the air. I didn’t even have to look to see his smug little smirk.

So what I smiled too?! Don’t judge me.  

The silence carried on, but it was comfortable. The bed shifted & I knew it was Nicki cuddling to him. I could hear her sighing against him.

Good. She deserves some nice sleep.

Just as I was getting comfortable, I felt his agile hand slipping under me, pulling me closer. This was surprising. And unwanted. I’m still mad at him. Don’t give in, Maria. Don’t turn over. DON’T TURN OVER!

Oh, what the hell.

I really wanted to stay mad but I was just way too tired so I ju-…….zzz…

Wow…was it morning already?

I looked to my right. Ok, now I’m blind. It was definitely day time. But what time, exactly, I couldn’t tell. I felt around, but felt no warm bodies. As I tried to regain my sight, I noticed singing coming from the shower. Puffy clouds of steam came in my direction.

“…ami ya lookin’ like, I’m just another guy…that came to check you…that came to wreck you…”

It was Nicki. I sat up & watched as she smoothed a sudsy sponge over her angelic body. Ugh, she was so sexy.

“What’s in them jeans just got my mind hectic…”

She was looking right at me now. The water turned off & she didn’t even bother to grab a towel before sashaying her way over to me. I was excited. I feel like it had been forever. She crawled up the bed until she was hovering over me, dripping wet in more ways than one.

“I just want a quickie…no bite marks, no scratches and no hickies…”

Oh yes. Good morning, indeed.

After a short (but sweet) session of love making, we washed, dressed just bathing suits & over shirts & made our way to the kitchen where, to my surprise, Drake was just finishing up breakfast.

“Good morning, ladies.” He said politely as he scraped some scrambled eggs onto a delicate looking plate. He gripped Nicki’s waist as she passed kissed her passionately.

“Hmmm, looks like somebody already ate this morning.” He said while eyeing me.

She gasped, slapping his chest.

“I’m just kidding!” he laughed as she pushed away from him.

If only he knew.

I tried to make my way past him, but he caught me by my fingertips & pulled me back to him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he growled.

Suddenly I was hyper aware of everything going on around me. My back was to his chest. His breathing felt like a steady hum. His heart beat was a heavy 3 thuds pre second and a half. 2 quick ones, pause, then 1 more. His face couldn’t be more than half a centimeter from my face. His breath was warm, but in a good way. Like he had recently drank some tea. But it was sending chills up my spine. Birds were chirping, the wind was blowing & the water was lapping against the foundations of the house. My heart was in my ears & Nicki was looking at us, smiling that creepy smile that let me know she gets pleasure from being our audience.

I couldn’t tell if I was going to throw up or moan. So I just kept my mouth shut.

His lips parted & rested on my skin, kissing me & sucking just hard enough to make my knees give a little before backing away & whispering.

“Good morning.”

How the hell is a person supposed to respond to that?!

I dint know. So, I didn’t.

I grabbed a stood & took a seat next to Nicki at the marble breakfast bar. Her fingers wrapped around mine & gave them a squeeze. I smiled at her briefly before turning my attention to Drake.

“What’s all this for?” I asked as he used a spatula to flip something over in a pan; his body turned away from us.

He looked back at us & smiled.

“I think we can all agree that I was a bit of an asshole yesterday.”

Yes…yes you were.

“So, I thought I’d give you guys a little…peace offering. I made pancakes, cinnamon buns, egg whites, biscuits with a choice of strawberry, grape and blackberry jam. Fresh squeezed orange juice and turkey bacon; crispy, just like you like it.”

He didn’t need to say anymore. Nicki was clearly taken at bacon & my stomach was in no position to object. I was famished. He sat two fully packed plates down in front of us.

Where was my phone when I needed it? I should totally instagram this. It was almost too perfect to touch.

Almost.

I’m sure I resembled something similar to a wild animal, which would be completely embarrassing if I weren’t so hungry. But I couldn’t find the fucks this morning and they didn’t seem to care anyway.

Oh yeah. I’m so never leaving this relationship if he keeps making this kind of shit.

Once my plate was cleared (which wasn’t long after I got it), I made my way to the outer deck. I was so full, I had to move around a bit. It wasn’t long before I felt tiny fingers creeping around my waist, followed by warm lips at the back of my neck. I could feel her smiling against my skin.

“So what’s on the agenda for the day, captain?” I asked.

She shrugged.

“I don’t really feel like doing anything today. It took a long time to get here. I think I just want to relax.”

Not a bad idea. I was feeling quite lazy myself.

She removed her hands from my body.

“I’m going to find something to watch.” She whispered to me.

She let her fingers rest on the small of my back before pulling away. I looked back at her as she walked toward the living room area before looking back at the view of the ocean.

Briefly I was alone. But before long, Drake assumed a position next to me; his forearms resting on the sleek metal of the railing. I suppose I should say something since I can sense that he’s looking for a reason to talk to me.

I lean over to him & nudge him with my hip.

“Thank you for breakfast.” I say without looking at him.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He said back.

The silence set in again. I was going to tell him how good it was, but he cut me off.

“I just want to say…I’m sorry…again…for my behavior yesterday. And every day since we decided to make this trip.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Aubrey.”

“No, I do. This whole time, I’ve been blaming you like it was your fault this was happening. Like I didn’t have a choice. I could’ve said no. could’ve told her I wasn’t ready. But I didn’t.”

I looked at him.

“Well…are you ready?”

He looked at me briefly before turning back to the view.

“I want to say I don’t know because that gives me an excuse to be a dick when you do something I don’t like. For instance…this morning.”

“How did you-“

“I came to the door to tell you breakfast was almost ready…you were busy.”

I hung my head, feeling a little guilty. This morning, I made it a mission to remain quiet. But I couldn’t figure out why exactly I didn’t want him to hear. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t let go of all that competitive energy I had inside me. But I know after it was over I did feel a little bad about it. It shouldn’t be something we hide from each other. It wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

“I’m sorry.”

He laughed.

“For what?”

What was I sorry for?

I didn’t know exactly.

“It shouldn’t have been a secret.”

“Trust me, it wasn’t. No matter how quiet you think your squeaks were, little mouse.” He snickered.

My face is hot. Pretty sure it’s red all over.

“Well, I just want you to know…I wasn’t trying to make you jealous or anything. It just…happened.”

“I know. And as strange as it is, it didn’t make me jealous. Just…lonely. But not just because of the sex, even though I really wanted it. I just…I don’t know, I just wanted to have that intimacy.”

 “Well I’m sure she’ll make some time for you soon enough.” I said as I patted his hand, trying to be reassuring.

Only when I tried to retract my hand, he didn’t let me. My fingers remained in his grasp. I looked at him to find his eyes already trained on me, his gaze serious & smoldering.

“I wasn’t talking about just her.”

Once again, my breath was caught in my throat. Lightning struck my spine & I was paralyzed, staring into his eyes. He showed no signs of insincerity. This weird tingle was working its way up from my toes & I didn’t know how to stop it, or if I even really wanted to. God, why does this always happen between us?

He lifted our hands & let his fingers fall into the spaces between mine before placing both our arms behind my back, effectively closing the space between us. He used the back of my hand to manipulate the hem of my shirt, pushing it higher & higher up my back.

I can’t even tell when my lips found his, but they did & I loved it. The pad of my thumb found itself brushing against the scruff of his face. His hands, hungry, ravished my body; pulling & kneading my skin, forming what I’m sure will be red marks later on, as he groped every inch of me.

“…was thinking, maybe we can watch ‘Pulp Fiction’, or…”

SHIT. NICKI. ABORT. ABORT!

We both pulled away. Tried to act natural.

But it was too late for that shit.

Drake wiped his mouth quickly before smoothing over his hair with his palm & turning away. I let my hair fall over my face, using it as a natural shied while averting my eyes. I could feel her eyes on us. I peaked up at her & took in the quizzical look on her face. She looked…confused. Shit! Please don’t be mad, please don’t be mad!

Her eyes shifted from me to Drake & back again.   

“Eeeeeeverything ok?” she asked, still looking between us.

“Yeah, fine!” I said, a little too gleefully as I swept my hair back behind my ear.

“Soooooo, why do you look like there’s something wrong?”

I have no idea how to handle this. I’m panicking & I know she sees it in my eyes.

Oh my god I feel like crying.

Nicki covers her mouth with her hand & she’s…laughing at me? Quietly at first, then progressively louder. Drake & I have apparently missed the joke.

That’s it…she’s finally cracked.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she squealed.

Drake & I looked at each other then back at her & I could tell that we were both thinking the same thing.

We should have her committed.

She slowly came to a stop, trying to be serious.

“Ok, continue.”

She said what now?!

“Pardon?” Drake interjected.

“Every time you’re alone together, you give each other that look. And then when I come around, you run away like I’m going to ground you or something. It’s like you only give me enough to know that you’re interested in each other. Like I don’t already know you’re crazy for one another. That’s a good thing. This is a relationship. You’re supposed to kiss. Stop actin’ so damn scary!”

I looked dead in her eyes to see if she was serious. She crossed her arms over her chest, cocking an eyebrow.

“Well?”

Even though she’s said it a hundred times, it’s still weird to think of kissing him while she’s watching. He still felt like her boyfriend. Her wanting me to kiss him, knowing that she enjoyed it was just…strange.

So am I strange for being excited?

One look at Drake & it was clear that he wasn’t making the first move. I don’t blame him. A lot of the time I’m wondering if she’s just saying things like this to see who will go first so they’ll be voted off the island. But by the look on her face, I knew no one was leaving this spot until she got what she wanted. So I, ever the daredevil, stepped up to the plate. Gripping the fabric of his shirt, I pulled his lips down to mine, massaging them slowly.

You know. Just to get it over with.

He was tense at first, but eventually he gave in, pulling at the roots of my hair as I smoothed my hands down his chest.

It was a weird nervous energy that coursed through me. Usually when you’re kissing someone & it feels really good, you can kind of shut out the rest of the world. But I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I liked being aware of what was around me. Liked knowing that Nicki was here with us. Enjoying this. But I was still apprehensive, not wanting to go too far. I pulled away slowly, grazing his bottom lip with my teeth.

Looking over at Nicki, I saw her smiling at us. It was creepy. Cute…but creepy.

I’m starting to think she enjoys this waaaay more than we originally suspected.

Maybe a little too much.

“Feel better?” she asked sweetly.

We both nodded.

“Good. Now come on.”

She grabbed both our hands & pulled us to the couch. She pushed Drake down, then proceeded to lay her head in his lap before patting the space in front of her. I took the spot assigned to me, her body spooning with mine as Drake took turns caressing our hair with his gentle hands.

While we laid with each other, the two of them took turns dozing off. I, on the other hand, didn’t. I couldn’t sleep. My mind was restless. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about how good it felt to kiss him with her watching (and laughing our asses off as Sam Jackson repeatedly asked if Mr. Wallace “looked like a bitch” didn’t help either. Seriously, watch this movie). It was so exhilarating. I wanted to do it again. And again. But then another part of me was scared. Scared that it could go all the way. I was ready. Well, at least I thought I was ready. But I just didn’t know what to expect. Would I be any good? What role would I play? In what way would this change our relationship?

Too many unknowns. It made me nervous.

But while my brain was busy battling with the logistics of the situation, other parts of me would much rather give into the more…primal side of human nature. Eight hours & three and a half movies later & I was still excited. And based on their actions, so were they. Nicki’s hips rolled against mine as Drake’s fingers slipped under her bikini bottoms. I remained still, kept my breathing steady, eyes closed. I didn’t want them to know I was awake just yet. But it was very hard, trying to maintain my current state with Nicki’s hands on their way to mimic Drake’s. Her soft, whispering breath on my shoulder blade, moaning his praises as he plucked her internal guitar strings. And those notes were perfect. I’ll admit, I was little jealous. I wanted to have some fun, too. But maybe it was a good thing he was keeping his hands away from me. I still didn’t know if I was ready to take myself to that place yet. But the two of them sure were ready to go.

Nicki’s fingers were circling my belly button now. I couldn’t keep this up. I rolled over to my back, smiling shying at them.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Nicki crooned.

“It’s almost night time.” I giggled.

“Well, good afternoon, then.” She said as she crawled on top of me.

Never get tired of looking at her from this angle.

Never.

“I was wondering when you would wake up.”

“Is that so?” I asked, cocking a brow at her.

“It is.” She cooed. “In fact, I was thinking that maybe a kiss on the lips would be the perfect thing to wake you up.”

She was making quick work of the buttons on my shirt; her lips moving south.

Clearly she wasn’t talking about the ones on my face.

I’m hot. Too hot. My nerves are trying to get the better of me.

Stay calm, Maria. Stay calm.

“That is a wonderful idea. But, I’m actually really hungry. You mind if we get some real food first?”

“Oh shit! I completely forgot! I was supposed make dinner!” she exclaimed before jumping up & running to the kitchen.

I laughed to myself as I listened to her fumble with kitchen utensils. I was quickly silenced by the feeling of Drake’s hand on my stomach. I looked up to see him smiling down at me. God, his teeth were perfect. And his lips. And that scruff. Just everything.

“I was wondering how long you could keep that up.”

“How did yo-“

I didn’t even finish. It was no surprise that he knew. He always knew.

I shook my head as I sat up, fluffing my hair as I did so, when he decided to pick me up & placed me on his lap.

You know when you’re on tumblr & you scroll down your dashboard & you see 1 of those ridiculously cute posts from “Just Girly Things” & you make a mental list of all the things you have to do once the only serious relationship you have is no longer pizza?

Well, “getting picked up by cute boys” is officially off my list.

He pushed my head to his chest & ran his fingers along my legs.

“You ok?” he asked me, his chin on my head.

No.

“Yeah.” I sighed.

“You want to try that again?” he laughed.

I rolled my eyes. 

“She seems…”

“Horny. She’s horny.”

“Is she the only one?”

He nudged me up with his shoulder before lifting me again & turning me to face him. I spread my legs, straddling him.

“You tell me.”

Oh my god.

He placed his hands on my waist, shifting his hips once.

My throat instantly went dry. Was I sweating? Yeah, I was sweating. But then why was I cold? My head is throbbing. I can’t think. I don’t know if I want this. But, ugh, he’s so fiiiiiiine! What’s not to want?! He’s standing now, my legs around his waist as he carried me out the room. We passed Nicki, who was busy with her head in the oven, down the hallway, through a door that lead to the south deck of the house. He turned right & laid us down on the soft, white futon, kissing my neck slowly. The surround sound was on. Nicki must’ve turned it on from the kitchen. You could tell what was on her mind as you hear someone tell you rather firmly that “the mood is set.”

I couldn’t quite make out the voice. My mind was a little preoccupied. You know, with Drake taking off his shirt & all. It never ceases to amaze me when I watch a man remove his clothes & his muscles ripple as he throws them to the ground. It makes me anxious with anticipation. Makes me wonder what his arms will look like when he’s moving me around.

Not that I’ll be thinking about noticing.

My hands are at his back now. Toes pointed, legs loosely around his as I try to calm my nerves by focusing on the worlds of the song.

“…o why you standin over there witcha clothes on? Baby strip down for me, go on, take ‘em off...-“

Great. Just great.

He was sliding my shirt from my shoulders, leaving my arms in the sleeves so it was easier to pin them behind my back.

“..aaalmost there. (uh uh) so baby, don’t stop whatcha doin’…”

He hadn’t even removed anything yet & I was already panting. Kisses down my stomach & I was moaning. He let my arms go, his hands assuming a position on my thighs as he got on his knees in front of me. I knew it wouldn’t take much before I was screaming.

But the tiny part of me that was tugging my heart against this idea was growing bigger & bigger. His fingers were teasing me over the thin layer of lycra fabric.     

Dammit brain, just fall in line!

Fingers were creeping to the side of my bottoms, pulling them away. A rush of cool evening air & warm breath hit my naked flesh & I was paralyzed.

Wait, wait, hold on.

His lips met my lips, kissing gently. I sank my hips into the futon, trying to distance myself from him.

“Don’t be scared, it’s just me, baby.”

The way he said that last word echoed in my brain. His voice was as smooth as molasses on a warm summer day. It drove me wild. But I let my left hand find his head, tugging at his curls, pulling him away.

I…I can’t.

“Mmmm, what did you say, baby?”

I hadn’t realized I was speaking out loud. I tried to repeat what I had said, but the boulder in my throat wasn’t budging. Tears were pricking at my eyes for some reason. All those unknowns from earlier were flooding my mind & I couldn’t focus on anything else. Not this place, not the pleasure, not him.

“I can’t do it.”

He stopped, looking at me quizzically before standing up.

“Maria…”

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to lead you on! But I just couldn’t do it. All these things are running through my mind and I’m worried this is going to change how we feel about each other or if I’ll be any good or if any of wi-“

He sat down next me & clamped his hand over my mouth, smiling at me.

“It’s ok. Calm down.”

Now it was my turn to look confused.

“Sooooooo you’re not mad?”

He laughed.

“No! Why would I be mad at you?”

I looked away, rubbing my arm nervously.

“I don’t know. I mean I said I was ready but now I’m not. I don’t want you to think I’m toying with you.”

“Maria its ok. Relax. I get it. It’s natural to have fears. Nobody knows how they’re going to feel about something until they’re actually about to do it. To be honest, I’m a little worried too. What if she likes you more than me? Or me more than you. I’m not saying it will happen like that, but you never know. Or what if neither of us lives up to her expectations? And besides, this is a relationship. I don’t want it all to be based on sex. And our individual relationships? Where does that leave them?”

I didn’t think about that last part.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like spending time with you and all. But what about when I just want to be alone with her? Or you? Or you with her? What happens then?”

The more he talked the more afraid I felt. But it felt good to know he had the same fears I had.

“This is why I’m scared. So many unanswered questions.” I told him.

“Exactly. And sure, it all sounds good behind closed doors but there are other people in the world. How will we know what they think of us if we never take this beyond the confines of our bedroom? It’s just too early to know. We need more outside exposure before we do this. Sex should honestly be the last step in this situation.”

“All this time you were feeling this way, but you still brought me out here to have sex with me. Why?”

He shrugged.

“I thought this was what you wanted. I didn’t know I wasn’t the only one feeling like this. The both of you just seem so ready to go. And besides that, I have two heads. One doesn’t always listen to the other.”

“And here I thought you were stronger than that.”

“Well, what can I say? He’s a smooth talker.”

“Oh whatever!”

“He got you out here, didn’t he?”

“No, technically, you got me out here.”

“And you didn’t want to come? Not for one second did you want me on top of you?”

Touché, Graham. Touché.

I looked away, nodding as I did so.

“And as for this nonsense about you not being any good. I don’t know where you got that idea, Maria, but you need to get that shit out your head right now.”

I was hoping he wouldn’t talk about that.

“But I’m serious!”

“Well Nicki seems to like what you do.”

“It’s different when you’re with just a girl. And the fact that I actually like you puts added pressure on the situation.”

“But it’s not that hard.”

“I know but you might want things that I’m not necessarily good at.”

“Maria…you don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. Nicki can take care of me all by herself. You being there is just an added bonus.”

“So what, I’m on her, I’m on you, you’re on her…it’s going to be like…like live porn or something!”

“Everyone loves porn.”

“And I’ve never even seen what you do! I mean, how am I supposed to know what to expect when I’ve never seen you work?”

He laughed. Hard.

“You don’t need to worry about what I can do. Just know I’m good at what I do. Pleasure is my profession.”

“But…but…”

He took my hand, stroking the back of it before speaking.

“Ok. It’s clear you’re going out of your mind with this. So, how about we come up with a plan?”

This is good. I like plans.

“Ok, what’s the plan?”

He sat, contemplating for a minute.

“Alright. So how about we go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. BUT, if we get too nervous and can’t, you worry about Nicki, I’ll let her worry about me and I’ll worry about you. Deal?” he said as he extended his hand to me.

Eh, it could work.

“Deal.”

We shook on it.

“So what do we do about Nicki when she comes out here?”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well she’s going to be out here any minute. And she’s going to want to be satisfied. If she thinks I’m ready, she’s going to want the both of us.”

He caressed my face softly.

Still never get tired of that.

“You let me worry about that.”

Drake kissed my forehead before wrapping me in an embrace. I put my arms around him loosely & sighed.

“I can see why she’s in love with you. She told me I would see it but I never thought I actually would.” I said to him.

“That’s funny because I knew the first time I laid eyes on you why she wanted you.”

I pulled away to look at him.

“Are you making a dirty joke, Mr. Graham?”

He flashed me that devilish grin.

“Maybe I am.” He said, raising a brow.

“Maybe you are, what?”

Jesus, Nicki!

She moves like a fucking ghost!

I looked to Drake in complete panic. He gave me a wink before standing up & walking over to her, pulling her by her hips closer to him.

“Trying to keep you all to myself.” He said in a low seductive tone.

She looked back at me, pouting.

“Is he being mean to you, baby?”

I looked at her, then at him, then back at her.

“No. we were just coming to a… mutual agreement.”

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Which is…?”

“Well…” Drake began, “I was thinking since she had you this morning, you could be all mine tonight.” He moaned as he squeezed her ass.

Oh, now he’s just being cute.

She looked at me, questioning me with her eyes.

“You sure about this?” she asked.

I shrugged.

“Sure. It’s fine. Sharing is caring, after all.”

I smiled. She smiled back.

“Well, as long as you’re ok with it. You sure you won’t be mad?”

I stood & walked over to her, my hands immediately finding her hips.

“I won’t be mad. I promise.”

I kissed her slowly, my hands lazily coming to her center & rubbing slowly with my middle finger. She gasped into my mouth, moaning deliciously.

“Just don’t forget about me, ok?” I whispered against her mouth.

She smiled, giggling softly.

“Never.”

I pecked her lips again before pulling away. She turned around to Drake & began kissing his clavicle. I caught him mouthing the words “thank you”, just before I turned away.

But he didn’t have to thank me. I already owed him way more.

I walked through the door that lead to our lavish bathroom, then to the bed, flopping face first. That was intense. But I’m glad I know now that I wasn’t alone in feeling that way. In fact, he had more fears than I did. But now his fears were becoming my fears. But on the flip side, maybe now that I know he feels the same way, we can work together to get through this.

I sure hope so.

It’s been about 45 minutes now & I’ve been literally twiddling my thumbs to these ballads that have been coming on, singing to myself along the way when I realized... I’m really fucking bored. I could go watch a movie, but I didn’t want to. I could go out to the beach, but I didn’t want to do that either.

I wonder what they’re doing out there. Well, I know what they’re doing, but…you get me. Maybe there’re already done & are just cuddling. No, they can’t be done. Maybe I should just go look to be sure.

Ok, so I’m nosey.

Don’t give me that face, you know you would want to see, too!

I keep going over in my head, trying to find a reason to go snooping, but it all just felt…perverted. I shouldn’t be looking anyway. This was their time. Uuuuuuugh, but I wanted to know! No. That is BAD, Maria. No spying. Don’t you get up from this bed until they come inside.

Whoa, how’d I end up by the closet?

My legs clearly have a mind of their own.

But I was already half way there, so I might as well keep going. I stalked closer to the door, trying my hardest not to be seen. Even though it was after sunset, I still felt like I could easily be spotted. I sunk to my knees & crept over to a shadowy spot on the floor, casted by the bathtub.

This is so wrong. Maybe I should go back.

Nah. I’ll just look for a little bit.

No Maria, go back. This is an invasion of their privacy.

I was just about to turn around & go back to bed when I heard her.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!”

I have never heard her sound like that before. It made my skin freeze, goose bumps immediately rising. I looked outside just as she was flipping her hair back wildly, arching her back deep, standing on her tip-toes. She was art. Moving, breathing, moaning art. And it was the most beautiful piece I had ever seen. The way the deck lights hit every curve & angle of her body made her look like she was on display for me. She sat up, letting her back arch against his chest. Arms reaching around his neck as his hands moved to cup her breasts. His face buried in her neck under her wild, curly mane. God, they were beautiful together. Jesus, look at his arms. Look at his back. Fuck, look at his ASS! The way he rocked his hips against hers was so hypnotic; their own private metronome, keeping the pace of their love song as Nicki sang aloud.

Oh my.

Drake lowered his right hand, reaching under her thigh & lifting it as he stroked out & in, over & over again. Her soft, exasperated moans were a mix of pain & pleasure. I could tell by the way she bit her lip every time he slid into her.

AND. HE. WASN’T. EVEN. ALL. THE. WAY. IN.

Good LORD.

How could sh-…and then sh-…when h-…GAAAAAAAAH! I don’t know how I’m going to be able to handle that! Or if I even wanted to! Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I wanted to. But how do I compete with that? How does anyone compete with that? How do you please a man like that? I knew it. I knew I wasn’t going to be any good at this. But at least I know what to expect. So many things are running through my head right now. I just need to calm down right now. Take this one step at a time. I went back to the bed & hoped sleep would come for me.

Then next day got off to a slow start for me. After tossing & turning until about 3 am, I decided to change into my night clothes & go lay on the couch, watching old episodes of Grey’s on HULU until I finally got some good rest. But it was short lived. By 9, the sun was baking my face through the window, forcing me to get up. Nicki was already awake, smiling at me as she poured a cup of coffee.

“Morning.” She said sweetly as she brought the cup to me.

Thank god. Because I know I’m going to need this. I took a sip of the hot liquid & it almost instantly jolted me awake.

“Good morning.” I replied as I sat the cup on the ottoman in front of me.

“Rough night?” she asked, using her nail to swipe a stray hair away from my face.

“A little.” I admitted.

“Anything I can do?”

“Not really.”

She pouted a little before kissing my nose.

“I’m sorry.”

“Its ok, Nicki.”

“Hopefully, the day will be much better. We’re going out!” she smiled.

“What? Where?”

“We’re going into town. We’re going to shop and eat and sight see. It’ll be fun!”

Oh shit.

“Just me & you?” I asked.

“No, silly! The three of us.”

The down side of speaking something into existence.

Drake did say we need needed more outside exposure.

“That sounds…fun. When do we leave?”

“In about an hour.” She said nonchalantly.

“Wha- an hour?! Nicki!”

I jumped from the sofa & raced to the room. How the hell could she not mention that first?! And why the hell were we going out so early anyway? Uuuuuugh!

I burst through the door & was surprised to see drake fastening his belt.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” I apologized.

No I’m not.

“You’re good.” He said, smiling.

Look at his chest.

I didn’t drool. Promise.

I walked past him, hurrying to the closet to find something to wear. Pants? Nah. Crop top? I don’t think so. From the mirror in front of me, I caught Drake’s reflection staring at me. His shirt slung over his shoulder. I turned around to face him.

“Good morning, Maria.” He said in a sing song voice.

I averted my eyes & continued to rummage through my clothes.

I sensed him moving closer to me. He spun me around & put his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him.

He stole by breath with a kiss. Mmmm, so good. Wait, he’s kissing me! No, eww, morning breath! I pushed him away & he smiled.

“I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.” I scowled at him.

“Your breath’s not that bad.”

“Thank you, I guess.”

“You’re welcome.”

I went back to my clothes. Mint high shorts & cream bustier? I think so! Now, where is my blush & gold belt?

“So what made you decide to sleep on the couch last night? Was it because you were upset with me?”

“No, Aubrey, I’m not upset with you.” I huffed.

Where the hell is that belt?!

“Was it because I caught you peeking?”

“What?” I shrieked.

There is no way he saw me!

“You were so busy looking at Nicki, you didn’t even realize I was looking right at you.”

Shit.

“How did you even think to look?”

“I just thought about what I would do. What I did, actually.”

I turned around slowly.

“You were spying on us?”

“I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed.”

I shot my shorts at him.

“You perv!”

“I’m sorry!” he laughed, dodging the shirt that followed.

“I can’t believe you!”

More clothes headed in his direction.

“Hey, after last night, you have no room to talk!”

He had a point. I stopped throwing things at him.

“And it’s not a bad visual.” He teased.

“I can’t stand you. Give me back my clothes so I can go.”

He grinned.

“Oh no. You were mean to me. You want your clothes, you trade me for them.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Seriously? I have to get dressed.”

“Well, then you better start stripping.”

“Aubreeeeeeeeeyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!”

“Oh, I love when you say my name like that. So sexy.”

He is an ASSHOLE.

“Time’s wasting, my dear.” He grinned.

Ugh, I gueeeeess I could play along. I snatched down my shorts & threw them at him. He caught them with ease. Jerk. He tossed me my green ones back.

“Now the shirt.” He said, smirking.

I turned away from him, sliding the cami over my head.

“Nu uh. Turn around.”

Oh my gooooood I don’t even have a bra on! Reluctantly, I complied, covering my breasts with my arm as I flung the shirt at him. He threw me my bustier in return.

“Thank you.” I huffed as I made my way past him to the shower.

“Excuse me. Aren’t you forgetting something?”

I turned back around to see a pair of my panties dangling from his index finger.

Fuck.

“You’re getting in the shower, anyway. Might as well.”

“No!”

“We had a deal.”

Out the corner of my eye, I saw the door click open.

Great Nicki’s here! She’ll help me.

“What’s going on, guys?” she asked, looking back & forth between us.

“He won’t give me my clothes!” I exclaimed.

“Aubreeeeeeeey…?” she said, folding her arms over her chest.

“She was mean to me, when all I was trying to do was be nice to her. She shot her clothes at me, so I told her she had to trade me the ones she was wearing to get them backf. Now she wants to renege on the deal when I already have all her other clothes.”

“My clothes, not my underwear!”

She looked at me for a moment, then back at him.

“Alright. I’ll trade mine for hers. Then the deal is done & you get out. Got it?” she said, cocking a brow.

Ugh I hate that stupid grin on his face.

“No. Problem.”

Tucking her thumbs under the waist band of her panties, she slid them down, stepped out of them & handed them to Drake.

“Better?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Good. Now get out.” she pointed towards the door.

He placed my panties in her hand before cutting his eye at me & walking out the door.

Yaaaaay! My hero!

Wait…why is she looking at me like that?

“Nicki…?”

I knew it. I KNEW there was a catch.

“I believe you owe me something.”

I should’ve just given them to Drake. It was a loss either way. Only difference is, if I didn’t give them to her, she would take them.

Not a bad idea.

But I have to get ready.

I slipped them off quickly & handed them to her before stepping in the shower. The water was a little cold, but not too much. Just enough to prickle my skin. I adjusted it a bit before submerging myself. It ran for a beat before I felt Nicki’s hand on my hip, guiding my sea sponge over my back. Silently, she washed me; not in a lustful way, just gentle. It was a very sweet, intimate moment, so I let myself enjoy it. But I knew there was something she had on her mind. Before long, she broke the silence.

“Maria…you know I love you, right?”

“Of course.”

“And you know you can tell me anything?”

“Yes.”

What was she trying to get at?

Oh no.

Drake told her.

“So then why didn’t you tell me you were having all these fears?”

I feel like such a shitty person now. All this time, the one person I should be talking to, I’ve been neglecting & I don’t know if she’ll even understand the reason why I did it.

“I don’t know. It’s just easier to talk to Drake about it because were in the same position.”

“But you can still talk to me.”

“Well, it seems like you just have it all figured out. He & I have the same fears.”

She didn’t answer immediately.

“I have fears, too. Some are the same, some different. And it really bothers me. Because sometimes I feel like I could lose both of you if I push you too far.”

I turned to face her & hugged her tightly.

“You don’t ever have to worry about losing me. I’m not going anywhere, you hear me?” 

She nodded before I let her go. We finished washing, got dressed & met drake in the living room where he was focused on his phone. He looked up at us & smiled.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

Nicki locked her fingers with his & mine & we ventured into the outside world for the very first time.

The ride to town was surprisingly short. I didn’t realize we were that close. We stopped & got out of the SUV at the city center. The streets were cobbled & the buildings were old & full of character. The place was so charming. Like something right out of a story book. People were bustling about from tiny shop to tiny shop, talking & laughing. Such a laid back atmosphere. But even with as calm as this place felt, the 1^st time Nicki grabbed my hand as we walked, I was a little afraid. What would they think? What would they say? What would they do? It was like coming out all over again. But why did it matter so much? We were adults. Ugh, I don’t know. These thoughts were circling my head like water down a drain. It was enough to make a girl go crazy.

But she reached for me again, slowly, fingers creeping around mine. I was shaking a bit as I locked my hand with hers, 1 finger at a time. Pinky, ring, middle, index, all the way until I felt an internal click. I smiled & surprisingly, so did everyone else. The old man in the shop window, the woman sweeping in front of her fruit cart. I won’t lie & say there weren’t some people that gave us dirty looks, but whenever they did, Nicki just gripped my hand tighter, holding her head high. Proud. Strong. God, I love this woman. She could be falling to pieces inside that little head of hers with all those thoughts but you would never know by the way she acts. Never once did her strength falter. She kissed my cheek as I let go of her hand & wrapped my arm around her waist. As I did so, I noticed a familiar tug at the belt loop of my shorts. I looked over to see Drake smirking. Not an obnoxious smirk, just one to let me know he was feeling the same thing I was. It was nice that we could communicate this way. Not saying anything, just looking at one another & instantly knowing. I looped my index finger into the belt loop of his pants & just like that, we were a chain. No longer just two people fighting to be with one person, but a cohesive unit, taking all of this on together.

The walk to the restaurant wasn’t a long one. But it was pleasant enough. We engaged in small talk, picking up things along the way; a carved statue, woven cowrie shell bracelets. Just small trinkets that made you smile when you looked at them. The place was nice, laid back with a beautiful view of the ocean. There interior was basically a bar with a few tables under a thatched roof; woven ceiling fans rotating to circulate the air. There was a deck on the opposite side of which we entered littered with tables & a few lounge chairs to catch a few rays on. Naturally, Nicki ushered us out to the deck & seated us at a table before going back to the bar to snag us some cool drinks & something to eat. There was a Hindi song playing on an old radio somewhere in the distance & I perched my head on my hand, letting my mind drift off to thoughts of belly dancing. I stared at the ocean, trying to clear my head, when Drake poked me in the forearm. I looked over to him, smiling.

“Hey.” He said smiling at me.

“Hey.” I said back.

“What’s on your mind, beautiful?”

I looked away from him. Thought about what I would say. I thought about lying. But what’s the point? He would know. And I didn’t really want to lie anyway. I just didn’t want him to think I was angry at him. Because I wasn’t. But if I stall any longer, I know he’ll think I am.

“What made you want to tell Nicki what I said?” I asked finally.

He looked down, sighing a bit before answering.

“I don’t know. It started off with me telling her I felt and she asked me if I knew whether or not you felt the same. What was I supposed to say?”

“You could’ve lied.”

“You and I both know there is no lying to her.”

He had a point there.

He stroked up & down my arm before locking his pinky with mine.

“I’m sorry I betrayed your trust. But I had to tell her. She just started talking about losing us and better communication so I-“

“Its ok, Drake. Really. It’s no big deal.”

“Really?”

“Really. I would’ve ended up telling her anyway. You know how it is with me & my feelings.”

I was waiting for a response but to my surprise, I didn’t get one. I looked over at him to figure out why he wasn’t saying anything & he was just looking at me all goofy & shit.

“What?” I asked.

“Look at you trying to grow up. Being all nice to me and not blowing everything out of proportion.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I said, waving him off.

We were laughing at each other when Nicki came back to sit with us, fully equipped with breakfast steak, eggs & orange juice that we thoroughly enjoyed. Once we were finished, we sat, talking a little, making jokes & simply enjoying our time together.

“…ut I still can’t believe you just slammed the door in his FACE!”

I was laughing so hard, I almost chocked. Nicki covered her face in embarrassment.

“I knooooooow! I still feel so horrible about it. I’m so sorry baby.” She said as she caressed his cheek.

“I’m not. It was worth it in the end, wasn’t it?” he said, smiling at her.

She smiled back.

They could be so cute at times. Makes me happy & sad all at once.

“Anyway, it’s nowhere near as classic as how the two of you met. I’m just glad I was there to witness it.” she smirked.

“Oh my god, can we NEVER speak of that again.” I groaned.

“The look on your face was epic. I wish I would’ve taken a picture.” Drake laughed.

“Yeah, well you were too busy holding that damn coffee.” I said.

We all laughed.

Ugh, it felt so good to laugh like this.

“Hey but you know what I want to know?” Drake began, “How did you guys meet? I’m really curious.”

Nicki smiled as I put my head down, smiling as well.

“Well,” I started, “the first time I saw her, I was 12. I was walking back from the store to my uncle’s house in Queens, when my shoe came untied. I was bending down to tie it, when these boys came from out of nowhere trying to talk to me. I lived in Brooklyn my whole life so I didn’t know anybody around there. I was supposed to be with my older sister, Mariana, but she was off, talking to some boy. I was soooo scared. Then, all of a sudden, here comes this crazy girl out of nowhere, yelling & coming to my rescue. She put them in their place! She had on these pink wind breakers and white shirt. Her hair was up in this greasy poof and she had on these reebok classic-.”

“Noooooo! Not the reeboks!” she squealed.

“YES! Those dirty ass, run down reeboks that looked like you had been kicking ass all day!”

“Oh my god, they were horrible!” she laughed, hiding her face.

“But anyway, she came to my rescue, raggedy reeboks and all. And she’s been there ever since.”

I stroked her hair gently. She kissed my palm as it passed her face. Looking at Drake, I could tell there was another question burning in his mind. It’s like I could almost see the words forming.

“Just spit it OUT, Aubrey.” I laughed.

“Alright, alright.” He laughed. “I know that I feel in love with Nicki the moment I laid eyes on her. But since you were so young when you met, I imagine it was a little hard to figure out those kinds of feelings. So I want to know…when did you know you were in love with her? Do you remember that exact moment?”

Wow. What a question.

“I don’t know.” I said nervously, pushing my hair behind my ear.

“Its ok if you don’t want to answer.” Said Drake. 

“No, come on. I really want to know. You’ve never told me this.” Nicki pleaded.

I was hoping I would never have to answer this question. It made me feel weird. But I know Nicki wouldn’t let it go if I didn’t. I took a deep breath before speaking.

“Well whenever we would go out and she would talk to guys, I would always feel this…I don’t know if it was jealousy really. But something would always make me hate the guy. But they would always turn out to be jerks, so I couldn’t tell if it was just intuition or not. But when I really knew was one night…I was at home. I think I was about…15? It was late. Raining. I was on my way to sleep when I heard this tapping on my window. It scared the shit out of me. I looked over and there she was. She was soaked. I let her in, gave her some clothes to change into and listened to her as she cried about some stupid boy. She was so hurt, she stole her mother’s car and came to my house. After she cried so much, her throat was sore, she crawled into my bed next to me. She had done it a thousand times before. But this time was different because I remembered realizing how close she was to me. How warm she was. How soft she felt. But most of all, I remembered thinking, for the first time, that I should be the one to make her feel better. That I wanted…to love her. And I wanted her to love me back.”

The way they were looking at me, you would think I was completely naked. Wide eyed & slack jawed, they stared at me. It made me uneasy. Maybe it was the intensity of the secret. Maybe it was just because I had never said it aloud before. But I felt like I had lost five pounds. I don’t know why I breathed a little easier after I told them that. But it felt good.

Damn good.

“I can’t believe I never knew that. All this time and you were right under my nose.” She said, smiling as she flicked the tip of my nose.

Yeah. It is funny how that worked. But like Drake said, it was worth it in the end.

After a little more sight-seeing, we stopped at a market, grabbed some groceries & headed back to the house. We got dinner started, then headed back to the south deck to relax. It was about five o’clock & we had opened a bottle of chardonnay & were in the middle of a very interesting drinking game. Well, it wasn’t really a game, we were just talking. But had it been a game, I’m sure Nicki would be toast.

“You are NASTY!” I squealed as I rocked back in my seat.

“Hey! I thought this was a judgment free zone!”

“I’m not judging! I’m just saying, you’ve done a LOT.” Drake said before taking a sip of his drink.

“So I guess a threesome is the only thing you haven’t conquered yet, then?” I asked, cocking a brow at her.

“It’s the only thing I still want to try.” She answered.

“Why did you want to do it in the first place? I mean, not that it’s a bad thing. But I just want to know what drew you to it.”

She took a moment before responding to me.

“I like the idea of pleasing two people at once. And being pleased in as many ways possible.”

“So it’s basically one big power trip for you?” Drake asked. 

“That’s part of it.” she shrugged. “But I never really thought about it in a serious way until the two of you.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I’m in love with both of you. And I don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m basically cheating on either of you. You each give me something different that I can’t live without, but you’re kindred spirits so I knew…or at least I hoped that you would like each other. That way we could all be happy, not just playing monkey in the middle.”

“No matter how many times you say that, it’s still so hard to believe.” Drake said, shaking his head.

He took the worlds right out of my mouth. I don’t know how I would ever get used to that idea. It was crazy! And I don’t know how she could live with it being more than just a fling when you didn’t know how people were going to react. And besides, you can love two people.

Can you?

“Well it’s true. I really can’t see myself living without you.” She looked between the both of us. “Either of you.”

And right now, I was wondering how I could live without either of them too. But I couldn’t see myself living with them either. The stares. The ridicule. And as I looked over at Drake & saw the way he looked at Nicki, it was hard to imagine he felt the same.

Nicki clapped her hands together, breaking me from my thoughts.

“So kids! What do you want to do now? We caaaaaaan…go for a swim, bonfire on the beach, ooooor we can just go eat.”

“Food!” Drake said, glass in the air.

“food.” I seconded.

“Food it is, then.” She laughed.

The three of us rolled our way out of the ultra-comfortable lounge chairs & into the kitchen for some baked ziti.

“Ugh, this cheese & this wine is like sex in my mouth.” I moaned, jaws full of noodles & meat sauce.

I didn’t even care that the ooey-gooey cheese was burning my chin as it strung from the fork.   

“Speaking of sex, there’s something I wanted to ask you guys.” Nicki said, letting her fork clank against her empty plate.

“What’s up, babe?” Drake said, mouth full of food as well.

“Now I don’t want you guys to think that I’m rushing you or whatever, because I’m not.”

 Uh oh. I think I know where’s she’s going with this & I don’t like it.

“But I just want to know…are we going to take this relationship to the next level? I mean, it’s no big deal. I just don’t want to expect something from you guys that you aren’t physically or emotionally ready to give. And I don’t want to unknowingly pressure you into doing something you guys aren’t ready to do.”

I looked at Drake who was looking at me, eyes full of apprehension.

“You don’t have to give an answer right now. I just figured since we were all here we could…talk…about it. Because I want us all to be on the same page. And I feel like we have to work on our communication, so…?”

In his eyes, I could see Drake forming something to say in his mind. But I knew after talking to Nicki yesterday, he didn’t want to make the mistake of speaking for me. The ball was in my court. But I just didn’t know. I didn’t want to say it would never happen, but I didn’t want to lie & say it was right away.

“Well, I don’t know, babe.” I began. “I don’t want to say it’ll never happen because it’s not like the attraction isn’t there. That’s not the problem. It’s just…it’s just got to feel right, you know? It’s hard to do something like this when you kind of got someone breathing down your neck.”

Out the corner of my eye, I could see Drake giving a nod of approval.

Fuck yeah!

“Ok, fair enough.” Nicki started. “But how will you know when it feels right?”

I looked at Drake & smile as he smiled back. Then at Nicki, shrugging before answering her.

“You just do.”

The days went by way too fast. I never wanted this to end. Here in Fiji, I felt more at home than any place I’ve ever lived. But I couldn’t tell if it was the actual place, or the people that I woke up next to every morning, surrounding me with pure affection & bliss. The days were short & full of fun. The nights were long & exciting. Every feeling was so new & wonderful. We still hadn’t taken it to the next level but…there were other ways to have fun.

Drake’s hands? Yeah. Everything you expected.

And THEN some.

But I was still feeling a little uneasy about what we were now referring to as the “it” moment. I don’t know man, it just seemed like every time we got ready to go there it…gets…weird. Like were trying too hard. So after about the second week here, we stopped trying altogether. We just suck to what we knew worked for us. It was uncomfortable at times, sure. But we worked through it. But I could tell Nicki was becoming more & more restless as the days went by. She was trying to be understanding, though. Doing her best. But, you know how she is. Impatient ass. Trying to be slick & orchestrate a maneuver like we wouldn’t notice. But we did though. And my fear would take over at the last minute anyway. I mean, I was still scared to take it all the way with Drake by himself, let alone with her watching me fumble through it. So we put the idea to bed for a while; giving us time to just take our minds off the sexual tension.

But let me tell you, going without sex at all, when you have two of the sexiest people on the planet with you is complete torture! Imagine starving for weeks & then someone dangles a nice, juicy T-bone steak in front of you. But, it did help me clear my head. And it helped us to be more forthcoming with our thoughts & feelings. Overall, I was having a really great time. It didn’t just feel like I was here as a part of some wild sex-capade or as part of some major merger. I felt like I was with my best friends, relaxing, getting away from it all for a while. No pressure. No worries.

Four weeks in & I’m still not ready to go home. I relaxed in the hot tub while Drake snoozed in the hammock cutout in the deck; a book shielding his face from sunburn. Nicki was on her phone in the other bedroom, talking away to the person on the other end. Probably Safaree. Lord knows he needs constant guidance. I didn’t pay it any mind. John Mayer was singing me a nice lullaby. Why didn’t I know about this song before? I’ve been sleeping on this guy way too long. I sang along as I tapped my foot to the beat.

“Pain throws your heart to the ground. Love turns the whole thing around. No it won't all go the waaay it should. But I knoooow the heart of liiiife is good.”

Awww man, this is the life! I just want to live here forever. Is that too much to ask? No, right? Of course not. Who wouldn’t want to stay here?! There’s Nicki…and naps…and Drake…and sunshine…..did I say naps? Yeah…naps are gre-….zzz

Gah, what the hell!?

I was on my way to sleep when SOMEONE decided to splash me in the face.

Thanks a lot, Nicki.

“Hey, wake up lazy bones.” She said, nudging Drake with her foot.

He woke up, shocked & bewildered. Almost feel into the ocean. Poor guy.

“This better be important or I’m going to strangle you.” I threatened her.

“Weather service says there’s a storm coming in. Could stay a while. We haven’t enjoyed the night life here yet and we might not get another chance to. So I want to go out.”

“Out?” I asked. “Out where?”

“To a bar. Club. Anything. I hear there’s a great place not far from here. And they play a good mix of Hindi and top 40 music.”

She had a point. Aside from lunch in town & sight-seeing a few times, we hadn’t really left the house. And I don’t know why, but I was feeling really excited about this. Like something amazing was going to happen.

But maybe it was just me.

Two hours later & we were almost ready. After much deliberation, I settled on a sleeveless sheer blouse, shorts & some sandals. Threw my hair in a top knot & put on a few bracelets. A little liner & mascara. Nothing serious. Something about these clouds made me feel like we might get an unexpected shower this evening. As I sipped on my water on the side deck, I sighed at the breeze on my skin. It gave me butterflies in my stomach like crazy. What is going on?

It only got stronger when I felt drakes presence next to me. He didn’t say anything as he walked up, closing the clasp on his Rolex. He simply placed his hands on the railing, gazing out into the endless horizon. The sun was going down & the stars were beginning to show. And even though I’ve looked at this same view almost every night, tonight it all seemed just so…different.

I admired him for a moment in his camo shorts & tank top, when he finally spoke.

“Do you feel like tonight is just…perfect? It’s almost like the planets aligned or some shit.”

I looked at him confused. Did I say something out loud?

He laughed, shaking his head.

“Maybe it’s just me.” He shrugged.

I let my fingers inch over to his, my pinky intertwined with his.

“Or maybe not.” I said softly.

The current surged through me just like I knew it had to be surging through him and I liked it. Liked knowing I was connected to someone else. That I wasn’t alone.

Before things could go to a place that made us want to say fuck this night all together, we went to the living room where Nicki was waiting by the door. Her back was exposed, left leg bare, peeking out from the slit in her dress. The garment was simple; teal maxi dress. But her frame made it look like this thing, which probably wasn’t more than $40, look like it was worth ten times than amount. It was perfect on her. She turned around, smiling at us.

“Ready to go?” she asked.

Drake & I smiled before walking to her, linking our arms with hers.

I don’t know what this night was going to bring. but I was definitely open to anything.

We walked to the club, which actually wasn’t all that far from where we were staying (the things you learn when you actually go outside). Turns out this whole place was one giant resort that was designed to make you feel like you were on your own private island, when really, town wasn’t all that far away. Walking through the sand was a bitch though.

When we finally did make it back on the paved road, its was only a few steps to our destination. The club was a lot more than I expected. It wasn’t exactly trashy, but it wasn’t Greystone either. It was…cozy.

We discovered an empty table tucked away in the corner & sat. I fanned myself with my shirt, trying to be comfortable. While the space was airy, it was a little warm. Not to the point where it was uncomfortable though.

“I’m going for drinks.” Drake stated. “Drinks?” he pointed between the two of us.

We both nodded before he spun on his heels & headed for the bar. I looked over at Nicki who was smiling as she watched him walk to his destination.

“So, how do you like this place so far?” Nicki asked me as she gripped my fingers after feeling my eyes on her.

I shrugged.

“It’s not so bad. Better a lot of places we used to go to in Brooklyn. Remember that awful place we went to that 1 time with Thembi and her boo, Traaavis?”

“Oh my god, it was the worst! I still have nightmares about that. But the music was good though.” Nicki laughed.

“Yeah it was. We really had a good time.”

“Yeah. But my feet hurt so bad. I danced with you almost the whole night!”

The memory flooded my mind, filling me with nostalgia. The way she grinded on me that night set the tone for a lot of things. I had come to terms with my feelings for her by then. And I was trying to be cool until I had the opportunity to tell her. But that night, all the bets were going to be off. Of course I knew she was just having fun, but I was completely turned on.

“I know! Then we got rained on the way home.” I laughed.

“Ugh, we were a mess. Hopefully we won’t have a repeat of that.” she said, shaking her head.

Actually, I wouldn’t mind it. Standing with her next to that bodega, arms wrapped around each other while we waited for our ride, our bodies so close…that was the first time a really wanted her in a way that I had never wanted anyone else.

I let my mind wander until Drake came back with our drinks.

“They only had Corona right now.” He said as he sat the sweating bottles down, a slice of lime tucked into each one.

We thanked him before taking one for ourselves. Ugh, god it tastes horrible. I don’t know how anyone drinks beer. But it was cold & this place already had me sweating & I hadn’t even hit the dance floor yet. So I guess I could deal. As I drank, I caught the vibration of Drake’s bouncing leg from under the table.

“You ok?” I asked, lifting a brow.

He looked at me confused, then stopping his leg, turning away & smiling.

“I’m good.” He told me. I followed his line of sight to the DJ booth on the back wall. The middle aged man seemed to be struggling with the MacBook & headphones he was working with. Before I could even turn back around, Drake was out of his seat, headed in that direction. Within seconds, he had talked the man into surrendering his equipment & letting Drake take control. And for the first time here, I heard a song I actually knew. It wasn’t long after that that there were people all around us nodding & whistling.

Yeah, I did too.

The beat dropped & Nicki was laughing, pulling me from my seat onto the floor. It was like karaoke the way people sang along. We were no exception. Drake was jamming, headphones over one ear, singing along while watching us. Nicki was in front of me, getting into the lyrics.

“…-ou wanted controooool, so we waited. I put on a shooooooow, now I make it…”

Something about the way she ran her index finger over her lips as she censored herself was very sexy.

Or maybe I was just over sexualizing everything because I was in the mood.

The chorus came & vigorous movement broke out all around us. Nicki switched her hips & rocked from side to side to the music. I did the same as Drake fist pumped, cheering us on from the sidelines. She pulled me by my shirt, closer to her, spinning me around so my back was to her as she caressed me lazily.

“-iss me til’ you’re drunk and I’ll show you all the moves like Jagger. I got the moves like Jagger. I got the moooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooves like Jagger!”

I snapped my fingers as I moved with her, enjoying the moment. Our carefree movement had seemingly inspired even more people to hit the floor, drunkenly mumbling the words. If you listened close, I’m sure you could hear about 10 different versions of the lyrics. But we were all having a good time. That’s all that mattered. She let me go & I turned to face her once more, watching as I danced with her. She backed up, letting me get a good view of her as she shimmied her shoulders & fluffed her hair seductively.

“You wanna knoooow…how to make me smiiiiile. Take control, own me just for the night…”

Christina crooned as Nicki rolled her hips, turning away from me. I looked back at Drake, who was raising both brows while biting down on his lip & nodding toward Nicki. I rolled my eyes at him before facing her again. She looked back at me, batting her lashed.

“I won’t show you twice! Head to toe, ooooooh, baby rub me riiiiiight!”

She was clearly looking for a sexually charged response. So I grabbed her by her hips, forcing her back on me. I felt her shudder as her breath escaped her. She smiled before kissing me. And she still smiled as we pulled apart. And she kept smiling through the rest of the song.

And the next.

And more after.

Finally, we couldn’t move another step without passing out, we flopped back down, barefoot, laughing as she sweat dripped down our backs. The place had livened up a bit since we had been there. And Drake was doing a great job with the music. These people couldn’t stop dancing; native & tourist alike.

The doors to a small outside patio were opened & we didn’t want to miss the opportunity to catch the breeze the weather was bringing in. I was beside Nicki who was sprawled out on her back on a low retainer wall. Back arched & leg fully exposed by the slit in the side of her dress, she was ravishing with her hand holding her damp curls over her still laughing face. I was so busy laughing at her, I didn’t even realize Drake had materialized with drinks. I thanked him as he handed me one. He pulled Nicki upright & placed the drink between her fingers. She thanked him by wrapping her arms around him, kissing him repeatedly before downing the entire drink.

Yeah. We wouldn’t be here much longer.

Another song she liked came on & she was ready to go. I waved her off & she wasted no time hitting the floor all by herself. Drake sat next to me, shaking his head.

“How come you didn’t wanna get out there?” I asked him.

“Me?” he said, cocking a brow. “I don’t dance.”

“My Tumblr dashboard says differently.”

He chuckled at me.

“I don’t dance if I can help it.”

“Fair enough.” I laughed.

We both looked over at Nicki who was sandwiched between 2 native women, all of them dancing to some upbeat Hindi record I had never heard before.

She sure made friends fast. It’s crazy how people were so drawn to her.

“You move pretty good out there.” Drake said, nudging me.

“Thanks.” I said back. “Glad you enjoyed the show.”

“I did, I did. But I couldn’t help wondering…”

I raised a brow.

“Wondering about what?”

He leaned back, his weight on his arms.

“Just about another show I’m waiting to see.”

I instantly felt flushed. I always did when he made dirty jokes.  Even more so now because, well…I wondered about it too.

I moved a little closer, moving my lips to his ear.

“You know, I want to see that too. I want to see more of your moves.”

“You’re not ready for my moves.” He said in a low growl against my neck.

A flashback of what I saw him do to Nicki two weeks ago played in my mind & sent a shiver down my spine. Suddenly his proximity wasn’t nearly as close as it had felt just a few seconds ago. I wanted him closer to me. Much closer. And before, that statement would’ve scared me. But today, it excited me.

“Tonight I’m ready for anything.”

I recognized the jolt he felt as he pulled away from me. It’s the same feeling I felt when he intrigued me. Enticed me.

“Little girls shouldn’t say things they don’t mean.” He slithered seductively.

It made me lick my lips.

“I’m not a little girl.” I hissed back.

The tone of my voice surprised me. I almost didn’t recognize it. It didn’t sound like me. It sounded like some sexy vixen or something.

Hey! Wha-…mmmmmmm.

Drake surprised me by forcing his lips on mine before I could finish processing the thought, making my mind go blank. It caught me off guard, but I liked it. A lot. I didn’t want to stop.

But I had to.

Before I knew it, he was being pulled away from me. Nicki had snagged his arm, dragging him to the floor where she proceeded to grind on him as some Usher song with heavy bass & a dance beat. He gripped her hips, moving with her, but his eyes remained on me. I looked at Nicki, who was also watching me, biting her lip & running her hands seductively down her body. The look in her eyes was wild, salacious. She was hungry. Hungry for his eager hands that traveled along her every curve. For my lustful gaze. For pleasure.

Slowly she lifted her hand, curling her finger to me. In seconds, I was up, seemingly floating in their direction. Her fingers were icy from the breeze, wasting no time as they made their way under my top. Drake’s fiery palm was on my thigh, working its way up. I pulled him closer, which, in turn, forced Nicki on me as I kissed her passionately.

“…-he gave me a smile. I ain't a fein or a fool but I guess I'm caught in desire. Never did this before but I'm ready to goooo…”

The first drop of precipitation hit me & it was like liquid heat streaming down my back. It made me arch my back, forcing myself more onto Nicki. She moaned into my neck, rolling her hips as her fingers started up the left side of my shorts, under denim & over the lace. The next drop brought me even closer; my lips melting to Drakes as I scrunched up 1 side of Nicki’s dress. The rain fell faster & faster. It felt as though a part of me was melting, releasing inhibitions & overflowing with desire. We would all be soaked soon, but I didn’t care. I wanted them now. Right here. I was hot & freezing at the same time; my body tingling all over from the unfamiliar feeling. It wasn’t simply lust or desire. It was passion. Real passion. With an urgency. Like I would die if I didn’t have them now. It was a crazy feeling. I had never felt like I needed someone like this before. I was ready to go all the way right here in front of everyone, that’s how powerful it was.

But I wouldn’t get my chance to. The rain began to pour in sheets. A native man came running to from the bar, yelling for everyone to leave & find shelter. We grabbed our shoes & hopped the wall, making a b- line for the villa. After slamming the door behind us, we huffed, breathless after running through the icy cold rain. Seconds after, we screeched at the sound of quick rapping at the door.

It was Drake.

I hadn’t noticed he wasn’t behind us.

We opened the door slowly, trying our hardest not to laugh at his grim face.

“So nice of you to wait for me.” he said sarcastically.

We couldn’t hold it in any longer. We both burst into laughter.

“Oh yes, it was soooo funny.” He said grumpily.

“Awww, baby.” Nicki cooed, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you.”

She kissed him slowly, hands under his shirt before pulling it off all together. Next went his shorts; his belt jangling before plopping into a wet heap on the floor. I joined her, kissing the tip of his bare shoulder. He put his arm around me, pulling me close.

Nicki & I soon turned our attention to each other; she worked on getting my shorts as I pulled at her wet locks, all the while, Drake kissed us both, caressing our arms & shoulders with his lips. Her dress made its way to the hardwood, followed by my shorts & shirt. Everything came off until the three of us were clad in our underwear, kissing & caressing in the dark.

Nicki & I giggled as he jostled us, stepping out of his wet clothes before carrying us in each arm to the bedroom. He tripped at the threshold, sending us all tumbling to the floor. We laughed hysterically, all of us feeling unusually giddy.

“Wait! Hold on!” Nicki said as she crawled over to the far side of the room.

She turned on the fireplace & grabbed the bottle of champagne that she ordered to be placed in a bucket of ice for us every night. 

“This night deserves a toast.” She declared as she crossed her legs Indian style & began pouring us drinks.

She handed one to me, then drake. We clanked glasses before sipping our drinks. I looked over & noticed drake downing his in 1 shot. He made eye contact with me briefly.

He looked nervous.

Once we all had finished our drinks, we sat our glasses down & fell back onto the plush rug; each of us facing a different direction. I was on my back, under Nicki’s arched legs as she lay horizontal to the fireplace. The flames illuminated her skin beautifully, bright & smooth as the glass it burned. Drake was behind her, further away from us. He sat up, arms rested loosely on his knees while looking out the window beside me. He seemed contemplative. Whatever the thought was that was consuming him had to be pretty heavy.

I wanted to contemplate more on what was making him tick at the current moment, but with Nicki’s thighs rubbing together slowly against my torso, I was having trouble focusing. I let my fingers ghost up & down her legs a few times before tracing the waistline of her panties with my fingernail. I know she wanted me to go under. To go inside.

Sitting up, I slid myself from under her legs & found my way between them. Nicki popped my bra off effortlessly as she kissed my hovering lips. I removed hers just as easily, letting my fingers find her pert nipples & pulling gently. Her back arched & the first, of what I’m sure would be many, delectable sounds escaped her. Her fingers fondled me as my lips replaced my fingers at her chest. I needed them to remove the moist fabric from around her waist. Nicki used her free hand to tug at Drake’s leg, signaling to him that she wanted him. He seemed a bit hesitant as he came over & let his lips meet hers, but his body soon fell in line. Nicki’s fingers had already dipped under the waistband of his polo boxers, stroking his erection. I snagged his chin, kissing him slowly, while Nicki let her tongue circle my nipple. I moaned into his mouth, letting him taste the sound of my passion. He sucked at my bottom lip before pulling away from me.

What? No! Don’t go!

Nicki & I looked at him confused.

“I’ll be right back. Just gonna turn on the surround sound. What’s a good night without mood music, right?” he chuckled nervously.

Me & Nicki exchanged glances as he hopped to his feet & headed out the door. Once we heard him knocking around in the kitchen, Nicki finally spoke.

“I hope I didn’t do something wrong.” She said softly. “Maybe I should go talk to him.”

She started to get up, but I stopped her; my hand at her chest, pushing her back down gently. I didn’t want her to go. Nicki had a bad habit of internalizing the wrong things.

“Let me handle it.” I said before kissing her.

I rose to my feet & headed out to the kitchen where Drake was taking a bottle of champagne to the face. He gasped as he pulled it away, setting it down on the counter. I crept up beside, causing him to jump.

“Shit, you scared me.”  He said, catching his breath.

“I couldn’t tell.” I laughed. 

The silence that followed was awkward. Something I haven’t felt in a while.

“You ok?” I asked him.

“What? Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?” he squeaked.

He squeaked, guys.

Was he…

Was he nervous?

I stared at him intently as he averted his eyes to the surround sound control panel.

“You’re scared!” I exclaimed before laughing hysterically.

He tried to hide the look on his face, but I could tell.

“It’s just a lot of pressure, man!” he blurted out finally.

I stopped laughing to respond.

“Drake, relax. It’s gonna be fine.”

He sighed heavily.

“You’re right. I don’t know why I’m trippin’ like this.” He said, calming himself.

“Exactly. You got this! Pleasure is your profession, remember?”

He smirked.

“You’re right. It is.” He affirmed proudly.

“And right now you have a pretty big job to do. So stop fuckin’ around & let’s go!

He fiddled with the surround sound a little more until a soothing melody filled the space. A woman moaned delicately and a rush of nostalgia ran through me. The bass kicked in with a little bit of jazz piano. Finally she crooned to us.

“In the thundering rain…you stare into my eyes.”

Perfect.

 After taking another shot of champagne, he looked at me & licked his lips.

“…an feel your hand…creeping up my thigh.”

 “Now,” he growled, “where were we?”

God, I love when he does that.

He gripped the back of my thighs, lifting me to his waist as he carried me back to the room. Before I knew it, we were back on the carpet, his lips tantalizing my skin. Nicki had crawled over to us, kissing me & fondling my breasts. I felt her move away briefly before coming back. By my ear, I could hear the faint crinkling of foil & the tinkling sound of glass on metal. Drake planked on his toes, his hips hovering over mine as he lowered his boxers with 1 hand. He came down on 1 knee, the heat of his body scorching me between my legs as he continued to kiss me. I could feel the stone hard length of him rubbing against me. His hands gripping eagerly at my waist, but disappeared quickly a Nicki pushed him off of me & onto his back. We hovered over him, smiling, lust-crazed madwomen on the prowl. I couldn’t tell if it was excitement or fear in his eyes as we snickered at him.

I couldn’t tell which one he should feel.

I lowered myself to him, parting my lips to take the flesh of his chest into my mouth, biting down just hard enough to make him cringe. He tilted his head back, biting his lower lip as he let out a low growl from the base of his throat. Looking up at him, I sucked to soothe the skin before pulling my lips away, leaving it red & throbbing. Meanwhile, Nicki seized his man hood in her grasp, smiling devilishly before taking him slowly into her mouth. He moaned deeply, a curse passing his lips in a hiss. She pulled back & I dropped my jaw slightly.

Well…that’s one way to encourage safe sex.

I was impressed.

I let my mind wonder about how many more of her hidden talents I would discover tonight until I was literally pulled from my thoughts. Drake had me by the hair, bringing my lips to his once more. Shortly after, I was once again pulled away, this time by Nicki. She pressed her mouth to me hungrily; her lips ravaging my neck & shoulders. Then, she was pulled from me. Drake had her pressed to him tightly, his hands rummaging her slender frame.

I, eager for something to do, moved down to kiss the arch in her back, counteracting Drake’s harsh movements with my soft ones. Hands caressing gently, lower & lower until I reached around, dipping inside.

She was all but dripping.

I didn’t penetrate her fully, only running my middle finger just inside her soft lips, teasing her. She sank her body down, trying to force my finger deeper into her. The more she did so, the further away I moved until I found the back of my hand brushing against Drake’s latex- clad member, wide & throbbing. Nervously, I flipped my hand, wrapping my fingers around him just so. The subtle jerk of his left leg let me know he liked my touch. I gripped a little tighter, working my hand up from the base to the tip & back down the other side.

“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit Maria!” he murmured.

The way he said my name was aphrodisiacal; deep & hungry. I wanted more. To hear him sing my praises. Gently, I stroked the pad of my thumb against his head. He writhed under my touch, crooning unintelligible noises while bucking his hips, encouraging my actions. Nicki slid to the side of him opposite me, her legs folded under her as she bent over to take him into her mouth once more. Lazily, I kissed the base of his throat, moaning as I went along to let him tingle from the vibration of my lips. Once our lips met, he seized my waist, pulling me higher to take a nipple into his mouth. I shivered; his wet lips sending electricity all over me, leaving my nerves frayed. He sucked at them, pulling gently with lips before letting it pop out of his mouth, followed by the flick of his tongue. Fast, then slow, then fast again.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhh! It was MAGIC I tell you!

He repeated this pattern on the other side & I rubbed my thighs together. The heat from the pit of my gut was rising to my chest, slowly suffocating me. It was a good feeling, enveloping me & hypnotizing me.

Please…never…NEVER end.

Buuuuuuuuut, of course it did.

Nicki had pushed me down, pouncing on top of me & showering me with kisses. I giggled into her mouth as she kissed me leisurely, her tiny hands tickling me as they went south.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm. This is a good tickle.

She slid a single, slender finger inside me & moved slowly in & out. I rolled my hips against her.

Goooood she felt amazing!

Soon after, another hand joined hers. One more agile, experienced. One more accustomed to reaching the depths required to please a woman. I cried out loudly, nearly exploding from the force of my impending orgasm.

Yes, just like that. Don’t stop.

Please don’t stop.

Another finger entered me. Then another, filling me. My legs were shaking as I ran them across the floor. Soft lips with a touch of scruff brushed against my clavicle & worked their way up to my mouth, kissing me.

I promise, kissing has never turned me on so much!

As quickly as the lips met mine, they were gone, working their way down my torso, replaced by soft, smooth ones. I let my tongue snake out, tracing along her puckered mouth. My tongue wanted to be between her lips, tasting inside. She parted them for me, my tongue meeting hers for a short moment before flicking her top lip.  

Reaching down, I slid my fingers inside her with urgency, pumping in & out of her to give her pleasure, my thumb at her clit, mimicking the movement I made around her mouth. She sighed dreamily.

“I love you.” She whispered sweetly as I pleased her. Her damp hair fell over her shoulder, shielding the rest of the world from view, but I didn’t forget we weren’t alone. Lips & stubble danced at my opening, tantalizing me. Nicki was horizontal to me now, a nipple in her mouth as she moved her hips higher, closer to me, giving me more room to maneuver. I peeked over her slightly, getting a glimpse of Drake, who crouched in front of me like an animal prepared to spring to action, his fingers still inside me.

He was kissing me now, his mouth silently asking for permission. I lifted my feet as he slid down on his stomach. He broke our connection briefly to rest his shoulders just under my thighs. The fingers of his right hand were cool, sticky & wet as they wrapped around my flesh, pulling me closer to him.

I’ll never forget the look of his eyes for the rest of my life. Dark & hungry, almost impossible to tell his pupil from iris. The flames from the fire danced in them, picking up on the flecks of gold in them just so, making him look dangerous, demonic & delicious. I could feel his breath on my skin. Then his lips, nudging mine apart gently. Finally his tongue.

SHIT.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

GOD? Is that you?!

How do you describe something that’s so beautiful, so amazing, so deliciously full of pleasure it was painful, that there’s no known word for it in any language?

I don’t fuckin’ know, bro. But if you guys find out, let me know.

Because that is what I was currently experiencing.

I was a phoenix; my flesh burning away, becoming reborn from this new pleasure I was experiencing. I’m sure I would have rub burns from the way my body arched & faltered against the carpet. I didn’t dare open my eyes for fear that this was a dream. My fingers slammed into Nicki, perhaps a little too hard, causing her to cry out. I pulled my fingers out & focused them on rubbing her in delicate circles, hoping that this would convey my apologies.

But somehow I know this wouldn’t be enough.

I reached behind her, slapping her ass, signaling to her that it was time for a position change. She looked up at me as I bit my lip & smiled. Slowly & carefully, Nicki straddled my neck, facing south. Using my hands, I parted her sweet lips before meeting them with mine, beginning a slow & sensual French kiss. Her hands found her hips, trying desperately to steady her as I tried to focus, synchronizing my methods with Drake’s. Slow lick, fast, tip of tongue, full tongue, suck, tease repeat.

She was on all fours in no time.

And thank god because I thought I might die.

Nicki’s ass: a gift & a curse.

While my mouth was fully occupied, my hands were still eager for something to do. With arms too short to reach her breasts, they found their way to her ass, caressing, rubbing & prodding her, thighs to center, up to her back & down again until they settled inside her. Her breaths were audible now, her hips rocking against my face vigorously. She wanted release & I was more than happy to give it to her.

Except for one problem.

Just as I was really working on her, something (that I’m sure should me illegal in many places) happened. Drake unlocked my thighs from his grasp, only for Nicki to grab them, pushing them up toward my head as they both licked me slow.

Agonizingly slow.

And to put the cherry on top, 2 slender fingers slipped inside me, curling upward, hitting a spot that I’m sure didn’t exist before now.

How did he learn this shit!?

I gasped, nearly choking on my own saliva. I could feel my own wetness trickling down, my body trying to stifle spasms & a chill…oh god the chill. My entire body was frozen, completely motionless as Nicki still rocked against me & they both continued lapping at me like thirsty wild hounds. His fingers still buried inside me, stroking meticulously as I throbbed with as feeling that can only be described as happy pain.

I was all but crying, trying to force my hips against something that would emancipate me from this crippling ambivalence. As if they read my mind, their tongues moved faster against me, Drake’s fingers moving faster inside me. Continuously they quickened their pace, faster & faster until I….I………..I’m……

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I was floating outside of my body, present, but still very far away. I watched my body quake & spasm on the floor below me. My senses were just peaking, legs trembling in the air as I dug my nails deep into Nicki’s flesh, scratching ferociously before I blacked out.

Was it really even black?

Everything around me was vast & empty. Colors that had no name passed before my eyes & a cool wind swept against my naked skin. My ears were full of the sound of my own pleasure; my soft, breathy moans, flooding from my lips as I cried them into Nicki’s soft, plump folds. My audible wetness as drake continued to manipulate me with his fingers. The hiss of the fire, hum of the central air & every drop, trickle & roar of the storm outside as Usher serenaded slowly.

‘…hat about yoooooooou babe? Will you tell me all the freaky things you aaaaaaaaare?”

Was I in heaven?

My pulse was in my ears, fast & pounding. But it was beginning to slow. The softer it got, the closer I got back to my body, the colors shifting & moving until they became more clear. They began to take shape as objects around the room until finally, I was back inside myself.

Nicki shifted her weight, moving off of me & bringing her lips to my face, softly kissing my flushed cheeks & forehead while I steadied my breathing. Hovering over me was Drake; smiling, not in a mocking or sinister way. It was soft, cute, with a twinkle in his eye that I recognized as something I saw when I looked at Nicki. Something that always made me feel at ease & made my heart swell. His face still glistened slightly from what was left of my nectar. With a shaky hand, I reached for him, pulling his lips to mine, savoring the unique taste of us.

They were both at my neck now, showering me with affection as I struggled to recover from what my body had just been through. Slowly I was regaining my strength.

“You ok?” Nicki whispered angelically.

I nodded.

“Good. Because the night’s not over.”

The thought scared & excited me. I didn’t know if my body could handle that again. But I sure as hell wanted to try. Just not yet.

Slowly, I pushed myself up to my elbows, then upright before finally turning over onto my side, facing her. My fingers found the place I knew she wanted them to be & I began my rhythm once more. One last swift peck before I was on my way south, planting myself between her legs. Seconds later, Drake was beside me. It seems he had read my mind. With her legs over our shoulders, Drake & I began licking her, pleasing her body into oblivion.

Nineteen slow, sensual songs later, tears had stained her cheeks as she came down from her third orgasm. Her limbs were limp as we used our hands to massage her, coaxing what was left of the honeydew from her sex. The process had been a laborious, but worthwhile. The first of the 3 came quickly, her body rebounding fast as she had been holding on to it for so long. The second required more work. I held her hands above her head as I nibbled & sucked at her nipples, while Drake gave her long strokes from his manhood as I rubbed her clit.

She was honestly done after that second one, but being the assholes that Drake & I were, we decided it just wouldn’t be right if she didn’t have at least one more. So we interchanged the two methods, even adding a few more moves that we don’t dare say, until she came, screaming, shaking & crying while we used our mouths to clean the mess.

This is what she wanted after all: the 3 of us together. What was it she said? She ‘deserved all the love this world had to offer'?

Well, I hope she’s satisfied.

I wiped my mouth with my arm, Drake with his palm before we crawled up next to her, caressing her lovingly.

“Fuck you guys.” She huffed, trying to laugh but the breath just wasn’t in her.

So we laughed for her.

She kissed us both sweetly before sighing contently.

“See, this wasn’t so bad, was it?”

She sucked in a breath as Drake pulled a piece of ice from the bucket where the champagne sat & ran it across her slick folds. They were swollen & needed soothing.

“Eh, it was alright.” I shrugged.

Drake cut his eyes before throwing the ice at me. I dodged it just barely before laughing.

“Alright? Woman, this is the best night of your life!” he declared.

He was right, but I’m not going to admit that to him. He’s already too cocky.

No pun intended.

“Well,” Nicki interjected, “the night’s still not over. There’s one more thing to do.” She said, looking at Drake.

“Baby, you don’t have to worry about me. You’re tired, just rest.” Drake said, caressing her cheek.

“Well, thank you, love. But I wasn’t worried about you anyway.”

Drake & I looked at each other quizzically before looking back at her.

“It’s time the two of you did what you were afraid to do all along.”

Nicki pushed herself upright, groaning a bit before getting to her knees in front of us. She grabbed my hand, tugging me to my knees as well & inching me closer until I had closed the space between me & Drake. She pushed him flat on his back & told me to straddle him. He was tense under me. Or maybe I was tense on top of him. Or maybe both. I can’t tell.

Ugh, my stomach hurts.

It wasn’t until she said it that I had even remembered that I was so nervous. The rest of the night had been so easy. This whole time I was thinking that I would have a problem with the 3 of us being together in general. But I wasn’t. I liked it. Loved it even. Sharing pleasure & pleasing someone with another person was an experience that was nothing short of spiritual. When it got right down to it, I wasn’t afraid of being bad at this or what Nicki would think of it.

What I was most afraid of was him.

Well, too late to back out now. And even if it wasn’t…I don’t know if I really wanted to anyway.

I looked at him & could tell he was apprehensive as well. But still, he sat up, placing his hands on my hips, lifting me. My stomach tightened as I felt him enter me.

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm! FUCK!

Nicki kissed me, swallowing my moans as he began a rhythm.

“It’s okay.” She whispered.

Her fingers found my left nipple, rubbing it softly. Drake groaned as my wetness became more evident, the pace of his strokes quickening. My arms were wrapped loosely around his neck. Slowly, she receded from me, letting him take full control. I kept my eyes trained on her as she crept away into the darkness, her eyes still shining in the light of the fire. Fingers were at my jaw, refocusing my line of sight on to Drake.

“You ready?” he asked softly.

Ready for what?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYY…….SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

I buried my face in his neck, biting down on him as he let himself enter me completely. I didn’t know if I wanted to throw up or moan. It was so deep! He lifted me a bit before bringing me back down on him. HARD.

Good god.

My nails were digging at his neck, my fingers feeling slick from sweat…or blood. I wasn’t sure which. Either way, I didn’t know how he could stand it. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I just had to do something to counteract the immense pressure he was forcing inside me. Suddenly, I felt his hands in my hair, pulling me back & staring at me with smoldering eyes. Shit, he was mad at me! I averted my eyes, but he tugged at me again, a little harder.

“Look at me.” he said softly.

I did as I was told, transfixing my eyes on his. There was that twinkle again. This time, I knew what it was. I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew.

I relaxed my muscles almost instantly. He slid into me easier, the pressure & pain quickly becoming pleasure. An immense swelling was building in my chest that I tried to let out in a moan. It sounded so loud, far too loud. I bit down on my lip, trying to quiet myself. Drake stopped, lifting his right hand to my chin & pulling my lip from between my teeth & shaking his head.

“I want to hear you.” He growled in a deep timbre that made me throb with want.

He moved a little faster, but I remained quiet. Soon, his hand found a nipple, pinching & pulling at me. I breathed a little heavier. Clearly unsatisfied with my response, he forced me down harder onto him.

God, he’s gonna tear me apart!

A string of curses escaped me as he moved faster, harder, deeper. He ducked his head, his lips wrapping around a nipple & I moaned his name, long & lustfully. He looked up at me devilishly smiling.

“That’s it.” he mused.

Even now he had time for jokes. I slapped at his chest playfully & he backed away, pretending to be hurt.

“Oh stop!” I said rolling my eyes.

“But you hurt me!” he said in a mock sad tone.

“I did not!”

“Yes you did. And I’m sad. You’re going to have to make it up to me.”

“Oh, come on, Drake. You’re not serious.”

He laid down on his back, arms folded behind his head, eyebrow cocked.

Ugh, why did he have to choose right now to play? We were just getting started & things were going good. I didn’t want him to stop now. The longer I stared at her, the bigger his smirk got. He knew I wanted him and he was going to make me beg for it.

“apologize.” He said simply.

“Ok, I’m sorry. Happy?”

He shook his head.

“APOLOGIZE.” He said firmly as he bucked his hips against me hard, nearly knocking the wind out of me.

We had a stare off for about 30 seconds before I realized that he was in fact very serious. Uuuuuuggggh! I bent over him, working my hips against him softly. He was trying to remain composed but I could tell that under that mocking smile, he was just as ready as I was. I moved faster, harder against him. He tried to bury his lips in my chest but I used a hand to force his head back to the carpet.

“I want to hear you.” I mocked.

A breathy chuckled passed his lips before he let out a moaning hiss.

I could see what he got from teasing me. I liked setting the pace, being in control. It made me want to go crazy. I forced myself down on him even harder, the pain now becoming a driving force for me. It combined with the pleasure in a sweet symphony. His hands were back at my hips, his body rocking against mine. The happy pain was rising in me again, stinging my insides with every thrust. This fire burning hotter than the last. I yearned to be the phoenix I had once been, but the fire of our passion was so hot, I was sure it would consume us both, reducing us to nothing more than ash. My nipple in his mouth & I was burning white hot. His strokes became more purposeful, each one more powerful than the last. His fingers were against me, rubbing vigorously, bringing me even closer to eruption.

Uuuuggghhhhhhhh, yeeeeeees, mmmmmmmmmmm riiiight theeeere!

He sat up, wrapping an arm around me & squeezing me as tight as he could to him. It hurt my ribs. But when I came down on him & hit my G-spot, I couldn’t care less. I cried out wildly, wailing his name over & over. The muscled of his thighs tightened as he forced me down as hard as he could, our bodies meeting with an audible clapping sound. He was ready to erupt as well. I caught his lips once more, kissing him as I reached my final peak. When he pulled apart, he didn’t look away. He stared dead into my eyes, grunting heavily before whispering. “I love you.”

Hold on, what?

My body began to convulse, the feeling of my orgasm suddenly urgent. I looked away for a brief moment & caught Nicki staring at us, smiling like a Cheshire cat; eyes gleaming & lips curling back, exposing her teeth. But in a flash, my chin was caught in his grasp, lips kissing again briefly.

“I love you, Maria.”

No…no no no no NO! I thought I could ignore it as long as he didn’t say the words! But he did. And I knew he would. It was the look in his eyes. The one he gave to Nicki. The one she gave to him & to me. The one I gave to her. I wanted to stop & ask him if he was serious, but it was almost as if the words made my body react even more. I couldn’t hold out any longer.

I was out of my body again, looking down at myself as I leaned back, balancing my weight on my arms. Drake’s hands were holding my hips in his vice like grip. My voice seemed foreign, strained as it came from my lips. He was biting his lip as his powerful thrusts relieved him of the orgasm he had been holding on to all night. God, even his movements seem excessively loving. I closed my eyes & was back in my blank space. Only this time it wasn’t blank. The space was filled with pictures. Pictures of me. Of drake. The first day we met. The day at the diner. Everyday we’ve been here. He’s had that look in his eyes. The same one he was giving me tonight.

No.

If he had been looking at me this way all this time…how could he possibly…

And then there was me. On these same days. And my eyes. They looked…they were…

No.

He couldn’t. We couldn’t.

And then there was Nicki, sweet & smiling. Kissing & hugging us. Showering her with affection. And her eyes looked the same. I breathed deep & I was back in my body, eyes wide, staring at him as he stared at me. I could see my reflection in his eyes, my face slick with sweat, hair sticking to my cheeks. But my eyes…my eyes were…there was that look again.

No…it can’t be. I mean, I know I said I was falling for him but…I couldn’t possibly be in love with him! I love Nicki! I’m in love with her! How could I possibly really be in love with him, too?! This doesn’t make any sense. I can’t…we can’t…

This is too much.

I shut my eyes again & let him fuck me into oblivion.

I didn’t remember getting into bed. Or even going to sleep. But I remember dreaming. Or remembering actually. His words echoed in my mind over & over, bouncing off the walls of my subconscious. All the while, Nicki’s face floated around me in the darkness; that eerie smile dancing on her lips, her dark eyes glowing a golden yellow in the dark.

When I woke up, it still felt like I was sleeping. Except for the pain. The pain let me know I was awake. My eyes had a hard time focusing. Everything was bathed in a bleak grey light. Almost as if it were in black & white. I pulled the sheet back, examining the purple bruises on my hips & thighs. It ached to even sit up. I reached lower, touching gently between my legs. It ached; my lips swollen & throbbing. And I wasn’t even sure my legs could function. But I had to get up. Reluctantly, I threw back the covers & hobbled to the bathroom.

After I cleaned myself up, I dressed in sweats & a t-shirt, my hair in a wet twist at the base of my neck. Slipping on a pair of Uggs, I slowly made my way to the kitchen where I knew they would be. A gentle tune was playing and Nicki was at the range, cooking something, a bra & panties the only things she had on. Drake was behind her in his boxers, his arms around her, lips at her neck as they laughed together. Something seems strange about the scene. But I couldn’t quite tell what it was. When he moved away, I noticed the scratches I had left on her; 8 tiny scars curling up her body. I instantly felt sick. How could I have done that? You don’t do that to people you loved. And Drake…his back & arms…all covered with the same lashes. Had I been responsible? I couldn’t even remember. What happened? I had turned into a monster.

He was the first to see me, his eyes bright & smiling. Tyra would be jealous. He walked toward me, saying something that I couldn’t quite make out. I was captured by his eyes. He was still giving me that look, only it was all over him now. In his walk, his mouth, his arms.

“Good morning, beautiful.” I finally heard him say.

He reached out for me, embracing me & kissing my lips gently. I stood there, frozen in his grasp. He pulled away, looking at me quizzically.

“Oh, Maria, I’m so glad you’re finally awake!” Nicki exclaimed as she raced over to me.

She kissed me as well & still, I didn’t move. But she didn’t seem to notice. She had already turned around & started going on about something that I couldn’t focus on listening to. But not Drake. Drake still had his eyes on me, watching me closely. It made me uncomfortable. I needed to sit down. Thoughtlessly, I walked over to the breakfast bar & sat. The steel stool beneath me felt strange. Like I didn’t belong sitting in it. The granite felt cold. Too cold. This entire scene seemed…wrong.

I didn’t belong here.

Just by chance, I caught the end of what Nicki had been talking about.

“…ast night was just so amazing, don’t you think so, baby?”

She was looking at me, a smile dancing on her lips as she spoke. And the mention of last night made his voice echo in my mind again.

“I love you, Maria.”

God, it was giving me a migraine.

I nodded slowly. She looked at me, her brow knitting together with concern.

“Are you alright?”

I managed to give her a wry smile.

“Yeah. Just a little hung over.” I lied.

Or was I lying? I could’ve been hung over. Maybe. I don’t know. My head was swimming. Nothing was making sense.

But she seemed content with my answer, floating about, making me promises of a tonic that would soothe my hang over. But Drake didn’t buy it. I knew he didn’t. Hell, I didn’t & it was my lie. His proximity was making me nauseous. I had to get away from him. Slowly, I got up, walking back to the bedroom. I could hear his feet padding behind me on the hardwood. Once we were in the room, he gently tugged at my arm, turning me to face him.

“Maria, what’s wrong?” he asked sincerely.

“nothing.” I spat.

I don’t know why my voice was so harsh.

“Did I do something wrong? D-did I hurt you? Because if I did, I’m sorry.”

I snatched myself away from him.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. God, why does it always have to be about you?”

He withdrew slightly, hurt by my words.

“Maria…”

He sounded so wounded. I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. God, what is wrong with me?

“Excuse me, I have to go.” I said, trying to push past him.

He gripped me by my waist, holding me snug.

“Please…talk to me.”

His arms brought memories of the night before flooding back into my mind. I shivered as I thought of the pleasure that had ensued. I wanted him to take me again. Right here. Right now. But then I thought about them this morning. How happy they looked standing by the stove, cooking breakfast together. Laughing. Cuddling. They seemed so sure of themselves. Meanwhile, I didn’t know what I was feeling. I was so conflicted & it was driving me crazy. Why couldn’t I just be sure, like them?! All this back & forth made me realize what I had knew all along, but was too scared to admit.

They didn’t need me.

I ignored his hurt eyes & walked out of the room, not once looking back. I couldn’t. The look on his face would break me. I had to get away now. I marched past Nicki who, when she realized I was headed for the door, asked me where I was going. I didn’t answer her. Just simply picked up my purse from the entry table & walked out. The wooden planks sounded too loud beneath me; creaking & moaning with every step. The sand felt like quick dry cement, threatening to keep me hostage here if I didn’t move fast. I escalated my walk, moving briskly. The walking broke into a jog. The jog slowly became running. Pieces of debris were still being removed from the shore. I had to be careful. The wind whipped around me, loud in my ears. Then came the voices. My name, over & over. I thought surely I was going crazy. Until I looked back & saw them. Drake had dressed in a pair of jeans & a dark grey tee. While Nicki was still only half dressed, running barefoot in my direction. They were both calling me. The road was just up ahead. I sprinted before they could realize where I was headed. I knew Drake would be on my heels so I made a b-line into the little town, cutting down narrow streets, turning corners until I was sure I had lost them.  The street I was on would soon open to a row of shops. I didn’t want to risk being seen, so I crouched down in a doorway, thanking god for the rain that began to fall.

That way no would know I was crying.